Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Why all this on Pradhosam?

Yesterday… I wore the same green dress, I had worn last Wednesday… why do I wear light green with white on Wednesday… like a fool blindly giving in to the planets colours I don’t know… there are days when I blatantly wear what I feel like… but most of the days…I give in to the ruling planets colour… the first time, I felt something was wrong with this dress was during a train trip to Chennai for writing some entrance exam in college final year… after that, I had started wearing nondescript grey dresses during my journeys… but couple of times, whenever I have worn this gay light ochre green dress…I have felt something not good with guys behaviour towards me…

Yesterday… after having dinner… shubha wanted to recharge her spice card…thanks to her ISD calls… I did not notice the timings… for me all that mattered was booking flight tickets to delhi…or am still wondering, whether to go there at all…for Kozhikode interview is on the next day in blore… so I was talking about timings and rate of flight tickets over my mobile to my brother walking on the road, along with my roomie… even while walking down the road parallel to the road that leads to malleswaram… guys in bikes were doing acrobatics… riding on the rear wheel just near us… we were scared, what if they fell down and broke their bones… kids pretend to be daredevils and know not what they are doing… twice this happened… but for me the first and foremost important thing was booking the tickets for 13th… so I didn’t notice what shubha had noticed… 2 hefty guys in bike taking rounds and rounds around us… rounds that progressively became smaller… the recharge shop had been closed and we were returning home… at one point, she said, come, the guys are taking another round towards us… only then, I paid attention… even then I wondered… bikes have been racing past the road…so what is the big deal… just near that place after we had a crossed a park that had a elevated place for doing yoga… there was a nice apartment… looked well lighted as in those ads and shubha approached the security of the apartments saying, guys were following us… I was wondering…oh my god…why is she doing this… come, we will go home instead of waiting near the security… those things happen only in media… I had walked home around midnights after office work alone… for me, as long as I had shiva’s names on my lips… I was invincible… we didn’t wait near the security…even though the security said wait for 5 minutes… we started walking… and few minutes later… I felt a rush of air… a swoosh and I found my earphones in the bikers hands in front of me…I didn’t feel anything else… I looked at the contents of my hand…my mobile was intact… and a little longer than 10 cm remaining piece of my earphone was in my hand… if the earphone wire had snapped, the pull must have been forceful enough… still the seriousness didn’t strike me… for me it was a dilemma…what will I do to listen to songs early morning…i need songs even to brush my teeth... shubha then bid me to come under the shade and hide behind a black car…what if the bikers came again… the road was deserted except for closed doors, sleeping cars and subdued chrome yellow street lights… I felt ridiculous… why should I hide behind a car?… we heard the bike sound again passing us and I resorted to sitting on the slab under the tree… remembering the time, we hid in Devina's bathroom to escape our houseowner’s wonderful daughter and her equally notorious kid… it was some other bike… and for few minutes there was no other sound.. and suddenly at the road where the guys had taken the turn, there appeared a tall guy.. we decided to wave to him and ask him to escort to our place barely 5 minutes from our place… that guy was ex service man and was doing late night accounting for year end closure…he agreed and gave us company… and shubha blabbered her sentences to the guy peppered with the word pathetic…I could not match their speed…we had had a long walk and I ambled behind…trying to keep pace with them… at last we reached home and shubha still didn’t stop… every few sentences later… she was discussing the same thing… she said she was shocked… please god I thought… only then she told me… don’t you realize your chudi is torn… only then I saw my favourite green dress had a tear near my right hip… only then I realized the severity of the situation… I could not have afforded a fall on the tar road... I want my right hip that cost me over 2L over 3 surgeries to last for another 20 years at least… all I had felt was of gust of wind blowing…and shubha said she saw my dress flying… okie …Pradosham… and shiva rathiri would be commencing from 1 am… whatever… I will have to stay without music till I get my earphones…

But am wondering… what do the guys gain by casually brushing a gal… I mean why do guys do this or how can a man take a knife or a bomb or gun and kill someone…how can they sleep at night or eat their food after doing this… I have always believed…no matter how bad a guy is… a gals mere presence can soften the guys and make them good…when someone looks at a gal…she should be worshippable like devis in temples…pure so much so that, guys would fear going near her… mebbe I should have abandoned the dress after college final year… my mistake to have worn that green dress… not to have noticed the time when we left the house… well whatever… they will regret and pay dearly for it… shiva would see to it…

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