Thursday, March 20, 2008

Devasena's Nithya

How I met her?
Every time, I take up lalithasahasranama, I end up remembering Devasena and Nithyasri. I wanted my right hamstring to be perfect when I joined college again. Hence, I decided that I will try kerala ayurvedha stuff as well, And when I met the doctor, he asked, "do you want a separate room or sharing one?" I did not want my mom to forgo her leave and I didn’t want to sleep alone either, so I said, I will share and then the doctor said you can share it with a qyoood little gal (in his strong mallu accent). Paavam she cannot walk. I checked in on 26 December, Wednesday, without considering the days, for I had my FMS MBA entrance exam on Jan 13 and XAT on Jan 6, the earlier I get discharged the better. The wonderful doc didn’t let me write my jan 6 exam, 14 continuous days he wanted. And I had to cancel my train tickets and forgo my xat exam fees, the funny part was the letters from other B schools later that started with “congrats on clearing the first step of giving xat”…well whatever…coming back to Nithya…

Cute little Nithyasri
She was cute indeed. She reminded me of the increasing number of Brahmins who beget mentally challenged children. Garuda puranam mentions a disease for each of the previous janma karmas. But I could not find the sin that results in broken bones. Should be grave enough.


Nithyasri, was really charming. Kanni hastham, September with a sun number, believe should be Sep 1st. DS had married her cousin, her dad’s sister’s son. In spite of getting her own aunt as mother in law, the usual daughter-in-law mother-in-law squabbles existed. In the ward, I didn’t want to be bogged by their loud mouthed talks. I pretended to bury myself in quants, while Varsha paati related Nithya’s stories to everyone who came to see her. Once Varsha paati learnt my story from my dad who happened to be Varsha paati’s husband’s ex colleague, she started relating my story to her visitors to my utter embarrassment. I could not help hearing all these stories. These ladies just relate it aloud. Even am doing the same thing now by writing this. No big difference.

MIL DIL squabble
Whenever, her mother-in-law cum aunt used to come DS’s place, she would be like a guest and not help with anything. When DS was too tired after all days work and lie for sometime, her mother-in-law would moan that DS ignored her and didn’t talk to her. Within moments after DS settled, her  her mother-in-law would come and talk as in that JLo movie, where her would be mother in law barges in and talks the whole night.

Varsha Patti was in the first bed,  DS and Nithya in the middle bed and I was in the last bed farthest from door. DS and Varsha Patti would constantly pour out to each other.

DS - A fighter from day 1
So DS had married her own cousin and he worked in BDU. Anyone who has been to the central bus stand knows that it is a limca book of records thing to board and alight K1 bus after mathur bus stop. He was a thin bony skeleton of a man and DS was solid lady having given birth to charming adithya only months earlier. DS’s husband never helped DS with anything, the whole house was a mess it seems. He would not wash his clothes, he would just put his clothes on the bed, make just little room for sleeping and sleep in the edge. DS’s mom was old and she just kept the kitchen clean, the other rooms were a mess. DS had got everything a house needed, so that when she got her own house, she could shift without having to buy a thing.

Childhood in Lalgudi
DS and her brothers were born and brought up in Lalgudi. During pongal each of them would take charge of a room and white wash the whole house with gusto. As a kid, she would do everything right from buying vegetables to paying electricity bills. Her brothers would just watch TV and command DS to fetch water and DS would meekly obey. Now her brothers after marriage, as soon as they return from office, would go out to market to buy vegetables. DS has a wonderful way of relating things that you tend to listen to her in spite of yourself.

DS’s elder sister had polio right from her childhood and was wheel chair ridden. DS and her mother had to do everything for her. DS was glad when her sister’s periods stopped recently.

NithyaSri's hospital Saga
NithyaSri had fallen off the bed in her sleep right on the second day she got admitted in the Kerala Ayervedha hospital. And everyone loved Nithya, even I could not help it, you tend to get so attached to her. When Nithya was born, she had some problems because of which she was put in incubator for 4 months. It cost around 2L for DS, but DS struck to her baby. DS related with fond affection about the 4 sisters who took special care of Nithya. DS still has contacts with all of them it seems. DS went to all of their marriages. One sister especially would first come and grab Nithya the moment she entered the hospital, checking bps of other patients while she snuggled Nithya against her bossom. Nithya had Cerebral palsy and docs said, she would not talk.

After 4 months when Nithya was discharged, Nithya didn’t pee the whole day. DS got so scared that she ran to the doc again, and the moment doc put Nithya on her belly, Nithya peed, the doc exclaimed, look how happy your mommy is on seeing you pee. The way DS related this to Varsha Patti sweetly in tamizh amused me.

Nithya had developed one more problem, because of which DS took her to some city hospital. The chief doc was not present and the attending doc, asked the duty sister to give some injection. The sister was careless during giving the injection and DS could see N’s eyes rolling up as the injection was administered. After this incident, N’s legs got intertwined and she didn’t walk on her two legs. N is now 8 years old but looks like a 5 yr old. She used to crawl all these years, however now after just 5 days in K, she had started walking rather ambling on her legs, albeit a bit slowly, but a definite positive improvement.

DS sings beautifully… and I wanted to learn karnatic music very badly…

NithyaSri's younger brother
DS was not scared about having another child. Just that she didn’t feel like having another kid. She said, no would be able to take care of N as she did, not even her mom. I could see that, in the mornings when DS went home to breastfeed Adithya, and N’s grand mom came. I could see the distance they maintained. When DS was around, N would be cuddled, it was simply joyous to see the love DS showered on N. I don’t think, if I had any mentally challenged child, I would have let it live in the first place…I would have killed it or abandoned it…whether I would have the heart to live any longer after that…god only knows…

One more thing about DS's mom that amused me was the fact that she didn't differentitate between her sons and daughters... if her sons made mischief or complained about the food, she would just snatch the plate from them and say "don't eat"... DS added, her mom however took utmost care of them in all other aspects... she was very strict it seems... she would want the room clean and she would want the kids to dry out clothes properly without any shrinks....

And when DS’s sister in law came to baby sit, N…it was even more horrible… N did not like milk… though she drank milk and bitter medicines when DS gave it to her.. N would cry venna venna… and DS’s sister-in-law would literally shout at her like anything… and teary eyed N would drink half a tumbler and puke her milk and her meager dinner in the end… I used to feel bad and literally would want to slap that lady… but had to remain rooted to my bed…

When N had got admitted… her new born brother Adithya got loose motion, since DS had abruptly stopped breastfeeding and gave baby food that didn’t agree with Adithya… while N was admitted in one hospital…DS had to admit Adithya in another hospital to get his dysentery treated… DS related another story of a kid swallowing a pencil being admitted… she was glad that god didn’t let her bother about paying Adithya’s hospitalization expenses…one famous dancer had given the amount without even DS asking for it… DS was getting down one auto and the bharatnatyam dancer was getting down another auto when they both met and DS related how she had got Nithya and Adithya admitted… the next day the dancer had sent the money through her house boy with a request - not to repay… also she said…how famous lawyers and accountants sent their gals to learn music from her and how they saw N and voluntarily gave more money… one gal’s parents had given DS 2k without asking for any repayment….

DS said, she was glad god helped her in all ways… man…I really admired her for her courage and the love she showered on N…

When DS was 7 months pregnant with Adithya or Nithya… the dancer’s singer had was not able to come with her to Andaman Nicobar islands for a performance… DS agreed to sail in ship even in those stages for 10k… the dancer had got 1L for the performance… it was the dancer who had recommended the hospital for Nithya to DS initially…

When N was 7 years old… DS heard about free surgery’s being performed in Thirupathi hospital.. DS had taken N to get her intertwined legs separated… N had big big scars on both her thighs and knees… DS went on to relate this incident as well… DS was pregnant with Adithya then and she went to Thirupathi alone… there was some trust that booked the tickets and appointments for her in the hospital…only for this trip she got her mobile… she spoke to the guy and he had come to pick her up in the railway station… since this was free hospital…quality was non existent… she had to share the bathroom with 20 others… sleep in a large hall… and wait in the queue for free food… I could not imagine a pregnant lady doing all this… and N still had to be carried then…

There was one more kid, Manjunath who also had to be operated upon… Nithya and Manjunath became friends and were braving themselves for the surgery day… on the day of operation, they refused to operate upon Nithya since she had blocked nose and cold… once Nithya came back from the theatre… Manjunath was taken to the theatre…where he threw tantrums…brought the whole hospital down and convinced the doctors to operate him on the day Nithya had her surgery… finally the kids got operated on the same day….again, the hospital offered no support after the surgery… after surgery….they had to vacate and come back after 11 days for stitch removal… in Nithya’s case… DS arranged for a place to stay through trust… immediately after surgery… Nithya was having so much pain that she started hitting DS… DS bore it even as Nithya pulled at her mother’s earrings till it bled… DS’s heart wept thinking that her kid had to suffer so much of pain…not caring about her own ears….

After stitches were removed…N’s both legs were put in POP and DS had a big luggage and she was 7-8 months pregnant… DS related with emotion as to how the porter booked the unreserved train ticket from Thirupathi to trichy… he carried N carefully in his arms and put the luggage on his head and asked DS to follow him… he went to the handicapped compartment and got DS settled…and asked DS not to open the door once the TT came till trichy…and he did not accept the 50 that DS gave him…

I remembered the time in December 2005, when I had to travel unreserved every weekend to trichy to see my hospitalized mom…coz buses took a longer time and meant too much of shaking… many a times the whole ladies compartment was filled with handicapped ladies…I was wondering why they didn’t take the handicapped coach… and here the other ladies were not even giving seat to these ladies…I felt so disgusted with the whole state of affairs…and decided am not going to travel unreserved any time in my life henceforth… there would be some guy who would pay the TT and occupy the handicapped coach and these gals would have to suffer… govt has so many good schemes and as always…they are never implemented… however in DS’s case, it was genuine…she needed the space and rest… she was back to trichy and took charge again….

After Adithya was born, when DS breastfed him for the first time, she could not help crying, thinking, if Nithya had got the nutrition as well…she would have grown up much stronger… Nithya and Adithya get along with each other and DS keeps on saying to Adithya that he has to take care of Nithya when he grows up…

Since, I was always with my exam books, Nithya too wanted to study…I gave her my scrap book and she wanted me to give her sums… she did addition of single digit numbers correctly… she didn’t understand the minus sign… I was writing about Nithya in my note as well…when I could not concentrate on my quants problems… and she took on copying everything I wrote on my note…I used to practice my word list with her and she got the meaning and the pronunciation correctly… thanks to dad who told the doc, that I was preparing for mba instead of concentrating on marriage, the doc… never liked to see me with books and he used to scold me if curled up on the bed engrossed in quants… following what he said, even the panchakarma therapists took on to admonishing me if I was with my preparatory materials…I got so sick of all this… and I got irritable… and I took on to hiding the books under the pillows and beneath the bed sheet when they were around and took to utilizing all other time when they would not be there to disturb me… according the crazy doc, I was not supposed to sit on the bed…just lie down 24 hours a day and enjoy life… crazy idea of enjoying life… and since I was stealing time, I wanted no distractions… there was a window and table chair next to it… I used to sit there and practice math… the moment I sat there…Nithya too wanted to sit next to me… close to me…so that she could copy what I was doing and so that I could give simple math problems to her… but that day I was irritated with the doc and panchakarma gals… DS assumed that I will take care of N when she went to have her coffee… but u know, how it is with kids… though N, had started walking, she was so fragile… I had to constantly keep a watch on her while she sat on the single bed or sat on the chair, so that she does not fall down… and that day, the moment, I sat, DS put the chair next to me, so that N could sit… the next moment, I got up from my seat and went back to bed to do math…N was hurt that day… and DS did not go for coffee break and I could not practice math that day… in fact after that I left practicing at all… wrote my exam without sticking on my prepared schedule and I was surprised, when I got the call from fms this march…

After that I told DS, please you go have your coffee… I will take care of Nithya… but DS did not go… after a day I got back her good will again… and on the last day…DS used to say how much N used to take care of DS… DS used to have lower back problem and once when DS had curled up in pain… N recited the whole Kanda Shasti kavasam without any mistake…of course, Nithya can not even pronounce my name properly… but am sure she will pick up… her left hand lines are weak…but her right hand lines are strong… she will become somebody for all that troubles DS has gone through…On the last day of discharge …DS agreed to sing songs for me following my request…I told her to sing, non karnatic songs, other than kurai ondrum illai…because, I knew only that song and I always wanted to listen only to MS’s voice singing it… DS sang one song that she had composed and sang it… I was not all that impressed… later she sang Bharathiyar’s song that was Nithya’s favourite and Thedinaen deva deva from raghavendra that transported me to some other world… it was too good… after that the gals came to take me for the oil massage and I wanted to give her some money or at least the apple I had… but while I was in the treatment room, I realized, she was going to go right away and so I asked the panchakarma gal to ask DS to write her contact details… while going when I was still in the treatment room, DS told that she had written her mobile number in my lalitha book cover… I felt bad, I didn’t give her anything… well… world is too small… I will meet her and give her something…

The day N got discharged… DS was saying, the house was in disarray…fan was not working and Nithya needed fan… what to do …you can not ask Nithya if she had been born in AC…for right after birth she was in AC for quite some time… DS’s husband just goes to BDU and comes back… now DS is in charge as usual… she has to get the electrician… get the fan working… clean up the house… she has arranged a yoga teacher for N… could be because she saw me doing asanas and pranayam some of which I taught her… and am sure DS will not turn any stone unturned if Nithya’s is involved… she has fixed a dentist’s appointment for Nithya… am sure Nithya will become somebody…. Sometime, later Varsha Patti’s story….

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