Thursday, October 25, 2012

World without Money

This morning, I found I had exactly Rs 40 in my purse. My card didn’t work in ATM and I spent the last 40 on my afternoon meals. So I was without a penny in my purse. And I missed my 9 pm cab and I didn’t want to wait till 10 pm for the next cab. With hunger gnawing, I wouldn’t have been able to work as well. Sonyworld signal and office hardly takes 10-15 minutes in cab. I decided to walk braving myself against pollution, Bangalore stench and stalkers, unmindful of the heavy laptop.

I was thinking whether to walk with Krishna on my mind or talk to my sister. I decided to talk to my sister when I walked on platform and think Krishna when I walked on road. I told my sister about impending Rahu Shani yuti in December, rahu surya yuti leading to Jefferson-Hemings affair and power tariff scenario - coal blocks misallocation -  SEB losses discoms, politics from this mornings Economic Times, to explain 14 hour power cuts in Sriperumbudur.

After 25 minutes, 2 policemen flagged me down, asking me to board an auto instead of walking near Ejipura signal. I told them, my purse was empty. I could have easily got a lift, but today I was no mood to take lift. I could have borrowed, but a ruchaka ought not to borrow said lal kitab. Besides, I wanted to exhaust myself physically, so that I could have a dreamless sleep at least once. My friend had been a victim of stray ricocheted bullet which got embedded deep inside her butt, at Ejipura signal. Since both of us had kalasarpa thing, I was quite apprehensive about walking around army area.

After some time, I saw her rather him. She was quite dark and wore a dark purple sari with silver border, quite dandy with cheap zari work. She kept on removing her sari, exposing her bony cleavage showing her posterior to the speeding vehicles. She was so malnourished. My annanagar experience with eunuchs made me consider walking on road risking being hit by speeding vehicles, rather walking in close proximity to an eunuch. There, a bunch of 4-5 eunuchs, again very very poor, skinny, dressed in rags, demanded money. Thanks to metro construction, which made the road to hostel one way from rountana, I had to walk. That time, I had a 100 in my purse but I didn’t want to give away the last and only note when the eunuchs demanded. I turned back and started walking the reverse direction to escape the eunuchs. One kept her hand on my head. She said, I don’t have to change direction and she put her hands on my back and pushed me. I felt so nauseated with their touch that I skipped my dinner and was sleepless in blind fury. There is a kural 1059 which is so similar to Sartre on generousity. And there is kural which describes the agony of saying no to a beggar.

Perhaps, Bangalore, road side call eunuchs are demure ones unlike Chennai eunuchs. She moved aside to the extreme edge of the platform near the thicket and so I didn’t have to step down on the road. I passed her with fervent Krishna Krishna on my lips. A little beyond an auto was parked and the same two police men were waiting. I was reassured to see the police men near the auto. Besides I had reached Ejipura signal and my only demon left to fight was stinking sewage near Oasis Mall. I reached PG, had 2 rotis with kabuli channa and drank my ellaichi flavoured jaggery milk in silver tumbler.

Suddenly, my heart went out to the lady in purple sari. Destitute, starving, skinny. Forced to do what not to fill her stomach. During a Mangalore trip, I saw a policeman mercilessly lathi charging a woman in Majestic and then I realized she was a call girl. There are these ethereal transgender dancers, exotic escorts and entertainers and there are these deprived eunuchs. My interaction with a sociology student Ashwini, made me understand the world of eunuchs from a bio technological perspective. Her project also involved studying eunuchs genetically using blood samples tested in Sri Ramachandra hospital. Ashwini never used euphemisms and her blatant graphic descriptions of customs of eunuchs made me cry that night. It is very rare that eunuchs become accomplished bharatnatyam dancers or materially successful. For the majority, it is a life time of identity crisis. Self has no gender.

If I were ever without money, considering how profligate Librans typically are, in my old age, I would do a jain sallekhana, rather than being dependent on mortal beings for material comforts. I can reflect and just meditate to death. But to starve by choice is quite different from being forced to starve. God bless this universe with love, peace and happiness, especially my eunuch brothers and sisters. Sarvam Shrikrishnarpanamastu

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