Dogs and Fish

For the past two nights, i had been sleepless, first due to a ppt and the second due to train journey. From morning, when D gave a me box full of  chocolates, it was extremely difficult to be just its safekeeper and not relish it.  I told R that I badly missed chocolates and he bought my  favourite Temptations Rum and Raisins, which i almost single handedly polished off in just 30 minutes. (ok, I just gave just 8-9 bits to SB who was carrying for three months wondering, if chocolates were good for babies).

The cab supervisor was going to Mandya by Chamundi Express. Without asking, he handled
my trolley and i just followed him. The moment the train started jolting, i decided to spare my eyes and L3 and collapsed happily. At Karmelaram, B joined me with three soft idlies. Wow, it was ambrosia, after PG and office idlis, i almost forgot, what soft idlis and proper chutney sambar tasted like.

Every major stop woke me up. No water was there in the train and the stench was unbearable at the station halts. Lampooning the stench, someone played Veti veru vaasam, vedla pulla nesam around 3:30 am. Nothing indeed can match the fragrance of vetti veru scrub in soothing warm water. Since i massage with oil most days except mondays, thursdays and sundays, the vetti veru scrub would start smelling oil after just a week.

B woke me up at 4 am and we parted ways. So appa and amma came, gave me anna's blazer. Amma asked, did you get a trolley just for this. I said, no, i had things to take back. She asked me, if there was no car to pick me up. I said, it was only mom and she didn't know driving. They went to station to have coffee and I felt bad, with Adyar Anand Bhavan closed in station, i was going empty handed to meet mom. I typically give 150 to N to buy 1 kg pomegranates for mom during my trips, but he didn't come to office on friday. So I took a bus to Gandhi market and bought half a gunny sack of oranges and vegetables, coriander bunch, spearmint bunch, which i could carry without straining.

Along with other vegetable hawkers who were carrying many larger sacks of vegetables for their area customers, i stood waiting for bus, which came after a while and i reached home around 6 am. A police guy, helped with the trolley while alighting.

Mom was also there at the  bus stand, to buy milk. She buys milk only if someone comes home. She said, i looked like a theevaravadi (aathathayinah) in my black tshirt and grey pants and brown black stole covering my head and face. I was glad. My test while going outside, is street dogs behaviour. I intentionally build in some fury, make my footsteps firm, almost stomping, and walk brisk with my fist clenched and sharp thumb nails jutting out ready to draw blood. If the dogs run away when I approach, am sure none of the gropers would dare come near me. I hate going to crowded markets because of gropers. I badly wanted a physical shield that would sense gropers and became porcupine like, with sharp knives. It took me years to realize, that a girl's best self defence was arul kaapu (prayers) and protective thoughts. Have tried and tested in so many crowds and it does work for me.

Talking about vibrations around the body reminds me of fish in office. If the fish quickly swim away frightened  as i approach them; I stand and pray and bless everyone whom I am going to meet till the fish return. That is the best entry check for kitchen as well. To cook in a positive loving frame of mind.

Meals at Home

For Mom: Corriander Chutney Rice, Pumpkin, Snake Gourd, Bitter Gourd, MangoDrumstick Sambar, Curd, Kheer

For Periyamma

Ever since, it got confirmed that we are not working on saturdays and i didn't have to cancel my weekend train tickets, i had been asking mom for corriander chutney and pudhina chutney. After reaching home sleepless for 2 nights, woke up pretty late and missed breakfast's corriander chutney. So ended up making a makeshift corriander chutney pulav with fresh peas and carrot.

Kheer reminded me of cerelac. Laced with melting ghee, mashed rice, milk, cashews, fragrant ellaichies and jaggery to sweeten, i could not help taking one more tiny scoop from mom's and periyamma's share. It was too good.

Summer season, so everywhere, there was these tiny baby mangoes that had fallen in the wind, that ended up as avakai pickle. Maanga murungaka sambar was simply tangilicious.

I had gone straight to early morning Gandhi Market from junction, so ended up with kgs of vegetables. Tomorrow, we will have only one proper vegetable.

La Opala's can never beat the special taste of steaming rice on fresh banana leaf, probably an Ag/Au plate can beat the taste. Pradhosam and tomorrow is Maha shivarathiri, but we ended up eating so much, with paneer peas pulav for dinner. Gone are the days when i used to give rest to tummy on trayodashis. Now, it has shifted to weekly tuesdays rather than fortnightly trayodashis.

Random and Order of Birth

She would not be more than 20 years old. Fragile and slim, with a fawn brown kurti pajama and black dupatta. Kind of cute girl. She had rolled up her pajamas a little below her knees, so that she could clean the toilets without wetting her dress. She came with a white bucket and broom. Earlier, we used to have a talkative lady in her 30s, who would advise me to not to do yog pranayam when others could see, who would never bother to cover her high waist blouses with her sari, or cover her thighs, as she went around cleaning the rooms. And I used to think, this modesty is mostly middle class. Higher up, except for practical, political or spiritual reasons, women seldom think twice about ultra-miniskirts or all revealing attires. How, temporal this beauty is. Beauty and poverty. Instead of going to school, she wanders with a broom and bucket.


Nithya shodasika roopa. One of the many interpretations I read was sweet 16. Our planets have different ages. But most of our gods and goddesses are depicted sweet 16. Still remember the first class our geography teacher took. I was surprised to see, how he related gods that people prayed to the geographies. Coast regions had narayana, Krishna with pastoral regions, muruga with his rooster and snake attributes down south, lord rama with hunting attributes with the plains, Shiva on the Himalayas, the rivers with whimsical goddesses.

In yet another other class, wonder how he got diverted to this topic, he went on to describe sexy grand moms in the US, where women did what not jobs on their face, body and skin to look so good looking. While analyzing cases, there would be pairs, where the women is 25 years older than the 40 year old guy. Skin deep, how it enslaves. Of course, men- women mirroring takes place at all pancha kosha levels, all chakra levels, many who go beyond the skin and muscle structure, look for the companionship, conversation, intelligence, talent, spirituality within. There were cases, where all that they shared a longing glance; a loving thought; love of music, books, dance. There was a case of matrimonial ad, where the father-in-law wanted for his son, a bride, who had in-depth knowledge. At physical level - there was a Vishaka Gemini, a thiruvathirai Cancerian; krithika Capricon; Uthirathaadi Taurean who wanted multiple women the same day, not even wanting to waste transition time and there was a kumbha taurean who retorted we are not humans, if we are not loyal to one person. Well, all flavours of mirroring. Numerology got etched in my memory because of certain pair formations. Half united, half parted. Unions in school college, old age, rather all ages are matter of interest, especially for men in power, the original creators with a strong vishuddi chakra. Everything has its time. A time to meet, a time to part.

Order of Birth

Of late, shiva on my lips has transformed to Krsn. Every time, only after I realize that I had uttered krsn, I would wonder, did my tongue touch the upper palate for the sa and na. So I don’t know why I uttered krsn, but my mentor was quick to point out that, he too was krsn. When I asked him, how? He said, he was born as the eighth in the family.

Suddenly order of birth reeled in my mind. The first borns, have to carry the heavy burden of society, parent’s expectations, set the example. The second born has to fight for attention of parents. The third born is the happy go lucky child, accepting whatever life gives with a cheerful mind. Day before yesterday, I happened to have breakfast with my colleague who was the third born and it instantly reminded me of my jovial brother.

From barbara, it was amazing to learn the simple truths, which are so obvious, but least acknowledged.

Fussing over Food

Yesterday, after working on a saturday, our director bought us lunch. Since it was mini meals and i was craving for something sweet, i bought ellu urundai (sweet sesame seed balls). My director said, that was his favorite and i told him that i bought it since it was saturday. He said, you have healthy eating habits, i have seen what you pack for lunch. I replied now I have shifted to a PG from my dupleix, and i eat maggi noodles and pizza at times. Till February next year, when my chandra dasha rahu bhukti ends, i have to stay in a PG, rather than shifting to place of my own.

At times, like on sundays, am forced to either sleep less hours, or skip breakfast to follow a delayed dinacharya, or skip dinacharya and have hot dosas which gets made only during a specific time slot.

Day before yesterday, as i was slowly alighting the stairs to reach another building, i saw a middle aged cleaner bending and picking pieces of creamy birthday cake on the floor. The birthday guy was running amuck, trying to protect his dress. His face and neck was already smeared in the cream. For the housekeeping lady, what is wasted in the parties is sheer luxury. The cost of one slice of rich chocolate cake would equal that of her two square meals.

I would watch these TLC cooking shows (years ago, it used to be Nigella Lawson), or any of these cooking shows and try to replicate the vegetarian delicacies. Dad had clean eating habits. It was a pleasure to serve him and watch him polish his curd rice on banana leaf. When i would come home from college, dad would buy banana leaves, arrange keerai and make me eat. No matter, how tiring his day would be, he would come early morning or late night at railway stations to receive me or send me off.

Recently I read sadly that Reader's Digest had filed for bankruptcy. Like in Arundhati Roy's God of Small things, I too, ended up buying the heavy weight world atlas, heavy weight Interior Decoration book from RD. If i were dad, paying for those books, i would have never agreed, but dad would always let me buy, the costliest books, dresses. Except the interior decoration book, all books vanished from my life. One friend borrowed a Rs. 2.5k hard bound chemistry book (i simply loved the high quality glossy colourful illustrations of chemical reactions in that book) and never returned. And i would console myself stating, probably, in my last life, i didn't return him a costly book. After reading lal kitab, i would make it a point, never to say lies, never to possess any rusted metal objects or accept gifts or anything for free. As a kid, i used to steal things of no value, trinklets. After reading Garuda puranam, i returned my school library book (The little mermaid, sindbad stories) after a decade. Probably for persons like me, it takes danda amongst 'sama, dhana, bheda danda', to follow dharma. Now everytime, something catches my eye, i remind myself, isa vasya upanisad's - 'Ten Tyaktena Bhunjitha, Ma Gridhah Kasyasvid Dhanam'. Am wondering, if Plato had read our purusa suktam - sahasrAksha: sahasrapAt - would he have come up with this invisible ring of Gyges concept? Coming back to food...

We would hide our Champaks, Gokulams, Archies and RDs inside our school books and read the same stories again and again. In RD, there was a cute story of a couple, who would serve snacks and tea decorated beautifully on a tray, starting from their honeymoon days, till they died. I immediately started serving things, even if it was just plain water on trays, arranged to perfection. There was another family in RD, who would add a mystery ingredient in everything she cooked. After the lady dies, the family realizes, the mystery ingredient was love written on paper and i started praying and blessing while cooking. Kaimanam, that people say, won't ever come without that tender feeling of love while cooking.

I was so fussy at home about food, almost Gandhian, on timings of dinner, eating neem leaves for lunch, that my Rohini mom would get perturbed, stating that neem leaves would make one lose interest in life. Even if it was simple sambhar, rasam, curd, i would arrange it like Indian tricolour as a kid. Till my 5th standard, i would never touch vegetables. After reading science text book on vitamin deficiency, i started eating vegetables. I still remember the heap of radish from sambar on my plate when i first decided to eat vegetables. Now i can eat soaked fenugreek seeds or plain amla as if it was the most delectable delicacy in the world. My relatives would hurriedly clean up cellars, buy green leafy vegetables, or make my favourite pudhina corriander chutney when i visited them.

Right from the colour of the vegetable, the pulses i added for a day, the oil i used for cooking, everything was carefully considered in terms of nutritive value, ayurvedic and planetary impact.  In PG, they cook veg and non-veg in the same vessels, make only cabbage (like in 1984) or potatoes and I eat in remorse. Till my apartmentmate, a virgo, in the body care business gave me some insights.

She said, the more you fuss about anything in life, the more nature tests you to the depths of nadir in that area. Eat whatever you get as prasad. And yes, i decided, everything is his blessing. I should rather bless the food i eat, like they taught atVethathri Maharishi's. A little bit of love, a little bit of blessings and prayer, energizes the food, even if it is taken straight from the fridge and offered, no matter how dirty our PG cooks are.

Every action is an offering to God. More so is eating. What ever be it, even if it is drinking plain water, everything is an union with God. Why fuss over colour, combinations, recipes, cuisines, nutrition, timings, quality, quantity. Whatever, unto you.

Flowers nearby

Come February, L square with its golden trumphet tree with tabebuia in full bloom comes to my mind. It was a delight to see those bright yellow flowers all over. Years later, everyday on the way to office, i would glance longingly at a short roadside trumphet while the cab would speed by.

Peace Lily or Cobra Plant

The building next to our PG had this peace lilies. They have also kept this indoors in our office. Wilts soon when it is completely indoors.

Euphorbia - locals call it phorbia - Am not a fan of this raw flesh coloured flower...

Cute purples and pinks

The cut flowers were in a nearby bouquet shop. If i happen to return from office early, i would inhale the vehicle fumes and cross the road twice just to savour the fragrance of rajanigandha (tubrose) for few moments. There were lots of gerberas, arranged in baskets

Baby's breath Gypsophila

Pink Asiatic Lilies

Pristine white Gladiolus

Gladiolus or Natal Lily

Yellow daisies

Reminds me of James Steerforth calling DC as Daisy. It was a library book, that some one didn't return for years and that was the first novel, i read during my 7th std summer holidays. I would have read it some 8 times, picturing a cute piscean school mate as Emily and school pupil leader as Steerforth.

Almost like a large blue thaatha poo minus yellow core - Aster Sun helenes

Table Roses



Jolly good yellows



Pumpkin orange rhapsodies



Titilating crimson reds

On the way to Agra, we had our breakfast at a motel, where 2 idlis, one tiny scoop of rava upma, sambar coconut chutney 1 vada cost Rs 100+. Mom had a heart attack seeing the rate, the quality and quantity.  But, these vibrant kaleidoscopic veggies, motley of tableroses with the humming bees all round made it up.



Lovely lemons, malachite chillies, peppy carrots and fiery scarlet chillies



Kothavaranga Paruppu Usili Parangi Murungai Keerai Poriyal

Kothavaranga, Poosanikai, Carrot, Thakkali, Poosanikai

Pachai Payiru Vellam, Moong dal soup, Carrot, Parangikai Poriyal, Kothavarnag Paruppu Usili, Murungai Keerai Poriya, Curd, Ribbon Murukku, Poosanikai Sambar

Last meal for this week, before i leave home this evening. Mom had chopped all the vegetables, so cooking time was very less.

• Started with ellaichi flavoured, green moong dal mixed thoroughly with crushed jaggery with a topping of raisins and cashews sauteed in ghee.Kept a little for the end
• A bit of moong dal water and kothavaranga water to make a soup with a dash of corriander and and cumin powder.
• Today being Sunday, wanted something orange to suit the day. So fresh sweet carrots slices
• Parangikai Kootu, Kothavaranga Paruppu Usili and Murugai Keerai Kootu
• Poosanikai Sambar Sadam
• Ribbon Murukku
• Fresh curd

The best part was soothing, salt-less fresh curd rice towards the end. Sheer ambrosia.