I always used to wonder about things in general so much so that, when I worked in CTS, my colleagues used to ask me, why do you start your sentences with “I am wondering”. I was always religious in the naamkevaas sense. Till 7th standard for everything I used to say Muruga Muruga, later I don’t know how it got changed to Shiva Shiva, so much so that, people around me used to laugh, when I said Shiva Shiva. I had Shiva to help my movements due to my replaced hip whenever I sat or arose up and walked over the tiles. Now, I respect the common inner meaning in all religions or even atheism, how profound is this meaning and how united are all religions in universal love. Now I sense why film makers make the same old love stories and yet make profit.
Garuda puranam mentioned the origin of all diseases, but the pdf file I read, gave nothing for the 6 accidents/ hip injuries I sustained repeatedly. I used to wonder why, now I got the answer thanks to vipassana. Subconsciously I have been inviting them thanks to my previous karmas. Thanks to the goodness and love prevailing around with abundant mercy, I have now come to realize the origin and cause of all things, its merely a matter of meditating to seek the answers. I have also realized the importance of seeking such beautiful knowledge with right, proper divine goals in mind for everyone’s well being and self improvement. Hence, I have realized why these mathematicians and geniuses went mad as well.
After the end of 9 days in the vipassana center, I removed all my earrings, anklets, chain, my ring, purse and offered the same to a great soul with my father’s name, begging so that I can become a buddhist nun. He said, what foolishness, and refused to accept it. Even I felt, why should I beg, I will live the life of a Buddhist nun wherever I am. I meditated for a while and realized my purpose in life was different. If we think answers come from within, it does, if we think external, then also yes; for our results are a mixture of these two. Now, I will take life as it comes with complete awareness.
How did vipassana happen?
Being a devotee of almighty, I used to travel 6 hours one way for Thirvuvanamalai girivalam on full moons whenever it was possible. Unlike other full moons, I travelled last December for karthigai deepam with an exchange student who was studying law. While I was concerned for his safety, it so happened that my purse and mobile were stolen in that trip and he happened to lend me his money. He was planning for Vipassana the next day in Chennai. So I should thank him and the prof.
Back in the institute, I always struggled with vipassana, but in March and April, I had the divine opportunity of meditating in dhyana Kendra thanks to friend’s wedding in Gobi, staying for a while in ramana ashram, going to virupaksha cave thanks to another prof. I lost track of time till May; my family tells me that I was without food for more than a week. Now I realize everything happens in time with proper efforts now and for good. Am glad now and I wish, everyone is blessed with greater joy and bliss.
Now I understand the meaning of Maharshi Ramana’s remarks to a question asked by a Malayalee devotee in 1930s. Devotee asks, is not social service better than sitting and meditating. Maharshi replies, the sea is not aware of its own waves and the soul is not aware of its own ego. How profound is this reply. May all the good souls bless this universe with love and mercy and happiness.
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