A beautiful Day

Certain things never cease to warm your heart. Like paruppu saadam mixed with melting ghee, a dreamless slumber that overtakes you post lunch, in spite of full glaring lights and loud audio lectures playing in VLC at full volume and a glorious twilight to greet you as you wake up.  When I woke up I was lecture 13 of oyc; each lecture lasting an average of 45 minutes.

I was so captivated by the mesmerizing sunset that I didn’t notice the slippery moss on the terrace where folks wash the clothes and came to a halt after a split second break dance. My constant prayer is, my lumbar vertebrae L3 with its protruding malunion should hold me steady till I die. Only for others, asking - how do you start your day to Sholay’s Thakur is a joke. God I missed chakrasana and surya namaskars for my spinal cord this morning, to eat hot paper roasts. At least, tomorrow, I should exercise my spinal cord.

So with breezy iyalvaahi (Peltophorum ferrugineum)  and flamboyant patadi – fountain tree with hot coal red flowers bordering the horizon, I savoured the crimson red sunset to hearts content, doing anulom vilom for few minutes with birds chirping in the background on a tower. Next time, I need to observe if they were plain bulbuls or cinereous tits, warblers or babblers. And I washed a bucketful of clothes in the divine trayodashi moonlight, not realizing that the plastic cover I had, to protect my palm skin from peeling off due to rin soap had a hole. Yay! only 17 more days for Deepawali amavasya. 2 more weeks to go home.

Am glad, cheenu goes home every other week. Mom would have company and I won’t feel bad, she is all alone. It is a beautiful world. Back to Russell now. Am still reading Russell, which I was supposed to have returned on Sep 14, 2011. Hope secretariat library does not fine Chithi too much. But shodashamshas are pulling me to its side. Hope i get someone to help me understand navamsha, trimshamsa and dvadashamsha. But what exactly is birth time. Kaal is so intriguing.

In 2008, i was a travel freak. Now, even if someone repeated asks to me join them, am too lazy to travel. Too lazy to get up and answer the door, too lazy to stretch my hands and attend phone calls. And after June Taj Mahal trip with mom, realized need to shelve off traveling forever. The 2 new moles on my sole indicates paying off foreign debts. Till am forced to, i would rather stay in the world of books, content with the steady sky above and terra firma below. Who said am locked in my room, and that am not travelling. Am rather we are all, travelling at the speed of 30Km per second. If i travelled at earth's orbital speed, i could reach my home in trichy in 11 seconds. this unmoved yet fast moving space travel is always a puzzle.

World without Money

This morning, I found I had exactly Rs 40 in my purse. My card didn’t work in ATM and I spent the last 40 on my afternoon meals. So I was without a penny in my purse. And I missed my 9 pm cab and I didn’t want to wait till 10 pm for the next cab. With hunger gnawing, I wouldn’t have been able to work as well. Sonyworld signal and office hardly takes 10-15 minutes in cab. I decided to walk braving myself against pollution, Bangalore stench and stalkers, unmindful of the heavy laptop.

I was thinking whether to walk with Krishna on my mind or talk to my sister. I decided to talk to my sister when I walked on platform and think Krishna when I walked on road. I told my sister about impending Rahu Shani yuti in December, rahu surya yuti leading to Jefferson-Hemings affair and power tariff scenario - coal blocks misallocation -  SEB losses discoms, politics from this mornings Economic Times, to explain 14 hour power cuts in Sriperumbudur.

After 25 minutes, 2 policemen flagged me down, asking me to board an auto instead of walking near Ejipura signal. I told them, my purse was empty. I could have easily got a lift, but today I was no mood to take lift. I could have borrowed, but a ruchaka ought not to borrow said lal kitab. Besides, I wanted to exhaust myself physically, so that I could have a dreamless sleep at least once. My friend had been a victim of stray ricocheted bullet which got embedded deep inside her butt, at Ejipura signal. Since both of us had kalasarpa thing, I was quite apprehensive about walking around army area.

After some time, I saw her rather him. She was quite dark and wore a dark purple sari with silver border, quite dandy with cheap zari work. She kept on removing her sari, exposing her bony cleavage showing her posterior to the speeding vehicles. She was so malnourished. My annanagar experience with eunuchs made me consider walking on road risking being hit by speeding vehicles, rather walking in close proximity to an eunuch. There, a bunch of 4-5 eunuchs, again very very poor, skinny, dressed in rags, demanded money. Thanks to metro construction, which made the road to hostel one way from rountana, I had to walk. That time, I had a 100 in my purse but I didn’t want to give away the last and only note when the eunuchs demanded. I turned back and started walking the reverse direction to escape the eunuchs. One kept her hand on my head. She said, I don’t have to change direction and she put her hands on my back and pushed me. I felt so nauseated with their touch that I skipped my dinner and was sleepless in blind fury. There is a kural 1059 which is so similar to Sartre on generousity. And there is kural which describes the agony of saying no to a beggar.

Perhaps, Bangalore, road side call eunuchs are demure ones unlike Chennai eunuchs. She moved aside to the extreme edge of the platform near the thicket and so I didn’t have to step down on the road. I passed her with fervent Krishna Krishna on my lips. A little beyond an auto was parked and the same two police men were waiting. I was reassured to see the police men near the auto. Besides I had reached Ejipura signal and my only demon left to fight was stinking sewage near Oasis Mall. I reached PG, had 2 rotis with kabuli channa and drank my ellaichi flavoured jaggery milk in silver tumbler.

Suddenly, my heart went out to the lady in purple sari. Destitute, starving, skinny. Forced to do what not to fill her stomach. During a Mangalore trip, I saw a policeman mercilessly lathi charging a woman in Majestic and then I realized she was a call girl. There are these ethereal transgender dancers, exotic escorts and entertainers and there are these deprived eunuchs. My interaction with a sociology student Ashwini, made me understand the world of eunuchs from a bio technological perspective. Her project also involved studying eunuchs genetically using blood samples tested in Sri Ramachandra hospital. Ashwini never used euphemisms and her blatant graphic descriptions of customs of eunuchs made me cry that night. It is very rare that eunuchs become accomplished bharatnatyam dancers or materially successful. For the majority, it is a life time of identity crisis. Self has no gender.

If I were ever without money, considering how profligate Librans typically are, in my old age, I would do a jain sallekhana, rather than being dependent on mortal beings for material comforts. I can reflect and just meditate to death. But to starve by choice is quite different from being forced to starve. God bless this universe with love, peace and happiness, especially my eunuch brothers and sisters. Sarvam Shrikrishnarpanamastu

Why does it happen to me only di?

Chandana is my PG caretaker’s  seven years old cute daughter.  Since I spend hours reading newspaper after breakfast, she is used to me perhaps. This morning, I was reading Hindu, when she came near and started, stomping her foot. She said, 'Why does it happen to me only akka?' in her adorable telgu englishu. What to do she chided herself, as if, she was forced to lift the whole world on her tiny shoulders.

So I asked her what happened and she said about her packing woes. She had packed 4 bags and she could not find any space to keep the exam pad in any of her four bags. She was going to Nellore -  her maternal grandparents’ home. So I asked her why she might need exam pad during 10 days holidays. She said some assignment with papers.

She is so lovely. With glowing baby skin and a nose that cringes with her expressions. I remember reading in samudriki lakshana that a girl with such a nose is a lucky mascot. Just in 2nd standard, she prepared a soupy maggi noodles for her younger brother at 10 pm. Just like all siblings growing together, she knows just to love and take care. Always forgiving and forgetting anything whatsoever. Her younger brother pushed her down on rough hard concrete floor in a fight and the skin came off her nose and elbow. The next day, she was playing around with her brother as if nothing happened.

She would show her maths exam question paper, and how she didn’t have time for the last few questions and how her tiny fingers hurt holding the pen after 2 hours. She would show me her assignments with her baby handwriting and amusing grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. I had to control so much, not to point out mistakes and take away her bubbliness as she explained. She would take up Men are from Mars series that was lying nearby to read along with me. Since kids just imitate elders, the best way to inculcate reading habit in children is perhaps to read in front of them.

That evening, my housie poured out, again why does it happen to me only di. This Lucknow babe is cute and I realized, why she is pouring out when some don’t. Another Aslesha. There is a repeating pattern of the people who open up to me. Once my roomies used to be karkas, now recently it is Meshas  - Ashwinis to be more specific.

So I told my apartmentmate about Chandana’s WhyDoesItHappenToMe predicament and she started laughing. Sometimes I wonder, elders in 80s would be amused the same way, when I talk about why does it happen to me only? Perhaps, evolved souls above would be amused the same way, when men bemoan at times on seemingly trivial things.

Sometimes I wonder, what is that am doing. Aimless. I wanted to see her – she offered to come to MDC and see me. But since this morning, some sort of ennui took over me. I took out the yoga mat, but my femur was glued and I ended up doing just pranayama instead of routine asanas. After reading newspapers, I could hardly take another step, implant was jammed thanks to prolonged sitting position.

Metal expands on heating, contracts on cooling. Why does implant not hurt in summers but hurts during rainy and chilly weather.  Postponed meeting her  - the girl who could speak, by lipreading, without hearing a sound.  Sometimes, I wonder about life without music, soothing melodious notes. Apart from the beautiful world of sounds, the practical reality of crossing roads, attending to a crying baby or a call for help from elders.

Chocolate Cyst

Am more of a paalkova girl. Milk sweets are my favourite. It was anna, who started me on Cadburys in 2008 during Mumbai trip with a big gift of festive pack. And from next month, my annual chocolate spending, apart from gifting chocolates to others was 8k+. (I account everything from 2000) There was seldom a time, when i didn't have a chocolate to share with someone.

Later, for a brief time, after interacting with a friend who could see aural colours, i stopped eating/drinking anything brown - so that meant no chocolates, no teas or no coffees, no puliotharais. My water bottles became orange or violet. But sometime later chocolates seized me again. Herseys, swiss, friends typically gifted and I nibbled in half mind. Now, chocolates have joined the category of brinjals in my mind, and i recoil painfully at the thought of chocolates.


She would take Rs 3200 injection or other costly medicines, but she would not touch the freely growing aloe vera on her compound wall. God bless her and guide her and keep her painless.People would buy costly cosmetic products with aloe vera, but would not grow it in a pot at home. Aloe vera grows on air. Mom has tied one variety of aloe vera plant to ward of evil eye on the door. In fact after my childhood so close with nature, as an adult after my implants, the aloe vera was the first reason, i dug the earth with screw driver sitting on a low stool.

Aloe vera keeps skin glowing, a gift for diabetics. And this is only beginning of its benefits. This helps. Doctors are the most difficult patients.

 

source

6 Months Later

Crunchy Jelly

Mom once had some painful whiteheads. Mere external application of aloe vera made it vanish within days. Am a big fan of aloe vera ever since that. I took a screw driver, dug up the earth to plant this in the small space between the cemented walk and fence.

Afterthought

If a guy has Rahu in 7th house, without the drsti of benefics, the guy mostly has multiple affairs with damaged women. If a girl has Rahu in 7th house, chocolate cyst is just one of the numerous menstrual problems, necessitating surgery at times. Shatavari or Chandraprabhavati, walnuts, how many more cures. These women are upright moral paragons, mostly unable to enjoy conjugal bliss due to pain, wonder what triggers this. Something to do with Swaadistaan chakra. Guess, will get to know after this Good Friday.

Sensing through Eyes

A Hundred Years of Solitude  came to my mind. Ursula manages around the home without her eyes. She knows where things are placed, more accurately than those who can see. My periyamma, is a simple loving mother from village and she wonders who invented this laptop, that am glued to almost 20 hours a day. At home, I fuss over the little little things of trivial importance, be it the arrangement of food, clothes, books, furniture, colours, smell. After alighting from train, i remembered Gita's upside down Ashwatta tree - 15.1 urdhwa mula adhah shaka. Mind, what keeps it sane, functioning? Senses, what keeps it sensing. What is the moving force - for the limbs?

It had poured in Chennai. Mayor elections, municipal bodies, well, mere posts to contest. Am praying, Delhi Metro's disabled friendly trains should run in Chennai, all over India. Trains were delayed inordinately. Once I alighted, it was as if, entire earth's population had accumulated on the platform, no space to move. I could move only in the narrow gap near the train, covering my nose. Some one shitting, in the halted train mindless of the injustice to fellow human beings. Gate's Toilet 2.0! Hope that is the solution to my train agonies. Whenever I go to Delhi by train, am forced to survive on sips of water, starving, 2+ whole days, to avoid going to loo.

So, it was a cesspool, everywhere. So dirty, that one would cringe stepping on the puddles of dirty water near Platform 5 of Egmore Railway station. I knew there was a vehicle conveyance path, so that one would not have to climb up those stairs. Looking at me, no one would know about L3 malunion or right hip's total hip replacement or my atrophied right leg. Even if I call a battery car, unless, I ask a police guy's help, those vehicles would say, it is only for old, and they would not take the luggage, etc. So I would walk till the very end of the platform to figure out where the path was and drag my trolley myself. I can't afford what the coolies need. Worse still, if it is an old coolie. I would feel bad, he is lifting, so much weight, nor can I afford whatever he demands. Am penny wise, pound foolish. After grinder stone for idly mavu, and luggage, my L3 screamed its presence. But this time, in the crowd, i thought, i have to take the stairs, rather than wading through the ocean of people on the platform. Wish railways had given an indicator of level path ahead to cross the platforms without taking the overhead platform bridge. I was at level 2 of upstairs when i saw the level crossing so near. Indian Railways! IRTS!

There I saw her. She was a stout lady, with a huge bosom. She wore a thaavani with semi transparent bluish blouse. If her legs were normal, she should not have weighed less than 80 kg, but she had legs, half the size of her thick arms. She was dragging, propelling herself with her hands to climb up each step, so dirty, wet, blackened. I was there with my trolley and 2 bags, climbing one step a time, praying at each step. The lady who was with her, just watched as she dragged herself in all that dirt. Her thaavani slightly came out of its place, after the 1st set of stairs, she instinctively reached to cover herself. My throat felt strange. She was keeping her bare hands on trash, her rear end totally soiled along with her dress.

I reached platform 4 and climbed down, trying to forget her. There was a creep, tailing me. Its always these railway creeps, that make me board an auto without bargaining, just to escape from that place at night. Outside, near the entrance opposite to Vasantha Bhavan, something hit me. It was the pointing stick of a blind guy. Would he have minded my hands on his arms, as I tried to help over those 2 steps. I get wild, if any Samaritan, touches me, even when they try to help. I would not mind holding them for support, but I can't let some random xyz holding my arms. I saw he had a lady with him, so I moved on. Near the busstand, as I saw anna (congenital physical defect - else, I would not have hurried to reach outside to ensure, he does not lift my luggage) Only then, the couple bumped into me again asking for auto and I saw both of them had pupil-less grey clouded small eyes. I begged anna, please help them board first. But anna said, their destination was nearer while mine was an hour away. He said, he would help them board the auto, paying my auto fare, while he struggles to make both his ends meet.

Eyes! God's gift indeed; 100% functioning spectless eyes, god's abundant mercy. And here I am abusing my eyes, forgetting my dincharya, forgetting krishna, fussing over temporal beauty of small small things, viewing the world in fine libran's beautiful glasses. Now I understand the relation between Surya and Shukra. Now my eyes are really seeing.

I realized my nethramritham from kottakal has expired last november itself. Here whenever possible, I grope around closing my burning eyes, like Ursula for the things I fussed at home - obsessive order and arrangement of things. Need to connect with genuine NGOs now.

Annanas and Dadima

Apples, Pineapples, Pomegranates

Dadima from Namakkal

Dadima

When she first told dadima, i exclaimed what! hope you didn't mean granny? Ever since, my BAMS friend told me dadima was vata pacifying, i have started to ignore the rates. I either go straight to Koyembedu fruits market or trichy market to bargain and buy at least 2kgs for 200.  When dad was alive, he would peel mosambis and separate pomegranates and make me eat in the afternoons. It would be laced with nicotine smell of his fingers, but his love made me ignore the cigarette smell.

Wish there was a way of knowing the colour of pomegranate seeds inside without cutting. One should not judge a book by its cover fits dadima the most. And if it is perfect crimson red, i get into wondering, hope they have not injected colours. They say, growing pomegranate trees invites kubera into home. So we planted a tree in our home. Wonder when carpenter uncle will bring us home grown pomegranates.

And according to healing essences of flowers

Punica Granatum is a symbol of fertility, pomegranate restores self-nurturing and regenerates fertility on all levels, helping to identify long-buried emotional needs, especially in relation to the mother, childbearing and creative issues.

http://www.imagejuicy.com/images/plants/p/punica/4/

source from net

I didn't take this picture, can't find the link, but i copied this picture along with others when I prepared a ppt of 42 healing flowers staying awake the whole night. I was searching for a perfect picture amongst 3.47 lakh odd pomegranate pictures. This flower essences ppt with 43 slides is a visual treat, that i can't help showing to select guests at home.

Pomegranates are more relation building than Cadburys Rum and Raisins. I had two friends in hostel, where it was ritual, sharing a pomo, after a late night assignment. Pineapple juices after fractures and surgeries. More about pineapple after I cut them.

Utlimate Amla

The other day, I heard in one of the VIHE ayurvedic lectures, that India does not grow that much Amla to substantiate Dabur's chyavanprash exports. My yoga teacher said, don't drink Dabur Honey. Perceptions. Trust is the basis of life. A doctor can cure a patient with a shirt button, another may die eating amlas, if they don't believe it is healing. For me amlas are synonymous with Chithappa, he buys so many amla candies, or keeps fresh amla at home all the time. An amla a day, keeps doctor away.

Benefits
from forum
and this

Amla Thokku

Nei paruppu, Pudhina Chutney, Amla thokku, Beetroot poriyal, Semiya Payasam, Mulangi Sambar, Rasam, Curd

Incidentally, yesteryear's heroine Amala is one of my favourites. She was bubbliness incarnate. One of my favourite scenes is in the movie Agni Nakshathram, where Prabhu catches Amala red handed trying to smoke in a party. Amala hides the burning cigarette in her jean pocket and Prabhu tells Amala towards the end after saving her face in front of her dad - Anjali, un pant pattika podhu! The way Amala jumps around is ultimate.

And I simply love the song Ninnukori varnam from Agni Nakshatram. A decade later, when music ma'm taught us Ninnukori varnam, starting with ga ga ri, I was on cloud nine as we all practiced in unison; in varying speeds, i felt mohanam was the most mesmerizing raga in this whole world. Mohanam indeed!