On Saturday, mom’s train was supposed to come to cantonment at 5:15 am…I was up at 4:45 am…it was 1.8 km walk to station…I put on the jerkins… held an umbrella …as if it was my AK 47 and started walking past the guttahalli bridge… there was one guy with white helmet who made two rounds and then vanished …much to my relief…I could not get an auto to rly station at that time… it was so lonely and scary at 5 am in the morning…I never used to be afraid of darkness…now blore has conditioned me… I wear jerkins…no matter how hot it is…carry an umbrella as my weapon every where…
Train was 20 minutes late and we took an auto back home…mom wanted coffee…and I didn’t want to make her do pranayam after a tiring train journey… I made her coffee… she didn’t want paranthas…she said S to coriander chutney and godhuma rava dosa… so I prepared the chutney and let her sleep till 7:45 …meanwhile I mopped the floor as silently as possible and woke her up at 7:45… we gave the adyar ananda bhavan mysore pak to the house owner and knocked his door again to tell that I inadvertently pulled out the wire of the ceiling fan… he agreed to repair the fan himself…he is a retired doctor…and I was scared that he was going to climb up to do this repair…never the less he agreed with his usual gusto…
At 8:45, was the bus from majestic for 1 day blore sightseeing…now I have decided…I am not going to do this again… man, the timings are too less…I could spend the whole day in ISKON…or gavi gangadhar shiva temple… 45 -55 minutes is hardly any time… then bull temple and then some stupid lunch at some stupid place near lalbagh…then I bought a sari for mom…and then lalbagh and then vishweshwaraiyya museum and cubbon park… the only thing nice was to hear about blore’s history and see the various mps and important persons' houses on the way…venkatappa art gallery was closed on Saturday and we got in the science museum…it was ok…and took mom to the 3D show… boring except for the snakes and rats part… and then we walked to the aquarium…mom was in a hurry there…while i indulged… ISKON in 55 minutes had taken a toll on my left ankle and right knee… however the swings in balbhavan next to the aquarium brought life back to me…the happiest time I had spent on the swing was in mukkombu….in 5th standard… after that in blue lagoon during a college get together…and after that only now… I could not swing while sitting… so I stood up on the swing and played like a ghost - a payee…for I had not put any band for my hair…for what mom said as little more than half an hour… it felt too good…I enjoyed like a child… going up and down the air…after that mom made me got down…and I felt so light… all my leg pains had vanished… before this swing thing I also climbed up a horse for a small round… in chennai beach it used to be 50 bucks…and I paid 70 near mysore sri rangapatna for a horse ride…rather horse walk under the hot sun…here is was only 20…I would have insisted on one more trip…however the mare’s shoulder (if I can say so) was a bit skinned - a square inch patch as if it had fallen down or scratched itself against some tree…
After that we took an auto to IG musical fountain… there again…I sat on the swing and only then I could analyze why I could not sit and swing…I could not flex my right leg… however once mom pushed me I tried flexing my leg…think…this would be a good exercise for my right leg… after that the musical fountain was really good… fabulous…but my disastrous moment came when I turned and saw that mom had closed her eyes when the fountain was dancing for dhoom machale song…I felt so bad… mom said dhoom song was like thaalattu for her… I felt that I was so insensible for torturing her like this in her old age with my idiosyncrasies… after that she was awake… later yesterday she said, the best time she spent was, at the musical fountain and second at the gangadhar shiva temple… whatever…I feel bad that I didn’t let her rest….the whole time… we walked from musical fountain and got an auto near the golf course and went home… we had fruits for dinner…she says…she feels like puking… if she has proper dinner…
Back home, thanks to my swing extravaganza…I found, even to splash water on my face required efforts and I was not able to unhook my dress… even now to straighten my left hand is painful….
The next day, I found mom was awake at 5 and she was sleeping on the hall room sofa cum bed….which was not good for her back…I didn’t give her coffee this time…instead I made her a hot amla churna drink… after that I took her for a walk near the peaceful road parallel to the railway track and the golf course around 7 am… ppl were all walking at that time… the whole road was so beautiful and the climate was awesome… I got her a health drink where Shub and I used to have whenever we went to the golf course… mom didn’t want the carrot juice after she had wheat grass and gourd juice… back home…I prepared methi parantha and paneer mutter curry…she had 4 and I had 3 and at 11 ….i made her a large coffee and I prepared radish sambar, carrot poriyal, rasam for lunch…I wanted to prepare okra poriyal as well… but mom said…okie leave it…and we didn’t have time as well… for I had to take a print of her return ticket…mom said…it was year end…and that she was in her probationary period after her promotion and so she could not take much leave… we went to the net café…initially only I was supposed to go…but mom said …she will come with me…and we walked to the café near Joops beauty parlour to take a print of her ticket and I wanted to buy plantain leaves for lunch…I love eating full meals on the green leaf… but the veggi guy mistook the leaf for raw plantain…then one gal said, that we could get the leaves near Swastik after Subramanya swami temple… we started walking… we would have walked for almost 50 minutes…mom wanted to return for we had booked Race at 2:30 matinee show and we were yet to take bath and have lunch…but I was adamant saying, that I had walked so much…so I can not return home without the banana leaf… i thought what blore is this that I have to walk from one area to another for a mere plantain leaf… we took an auto back home after buying tender fresh banana leaves…
We bathed in nice hot water and the long walk had digested the heavy paneer wala breakfast and we could eat the 3 course meal over the banana leaf with a good hunger to go with… I had mysore pak for the desserts while mom resorted to the chocolate icecream that we had bought after our morning walk…
Mom didn't finish her ice cream and we walked to Cauvery theatre to watch Race… I didn’t try auto… at 2:35… we sat on the seat… just as they had finished Saif’s intro… I don’t know what I had missed… I felt the movie was too carnal…i opted for a A movie...i am not complaining...I had warned mom that it was an A movie…but the story twists were good… and the movie one liners were amazing …some how reminded me of 36 Chinatown’s Upen’s dialogues…on the whole it was too good…for watching once… Jodha Akbar is one movie I can watch even now… the attention to detail is amazing there… and it is an exquisitely made visual treat…. It was funny as to how I got Race movie tickets…on Thursday night, I was returning home, walking down from Mekhri circle along with this chiseled damsel Preethi… who is my bus mate, who lives in sadashivnagar…we parted after Talisma and I was curious to see what movie was running in Cauvery theatre…I just wanted to enquire about the show and booking timings… and luckily the guy with whom I made the enquiry turned out to be the theatre owner and he got me 2 tickets at 8:30 pm and so that was the whole story of my bagging the movie tickets…
Back home…we finished our choco bars...I pressed the clothes for the next week while mom made coffee with ¾ litres of milk…man…she could drink a whole anda of coffee…at 6:15… we again rushed out to board her train at 7:20 pm cantonment… we got the auto at the second try and we were there in hardly 5 minutes and we waited… train came at 7:20 and the guy in Side Lower agreed to go to Side Upper and I returned back teary eyed for a minute or two before I convinced myself that this was silly in public… and walked back home… on the way back home… near the train bridge…where it was written only gold and whatNot visitors... I saw 2 good looking red lady’s sandals… for a moment I felt bad thinking… what if a gal had been abducted here… for that road is pretty lonely and scary… who would ever leave such good footwear here… but the fact that both foot wear were near by… okie whatever… world is not all that bad…why to let my imagination run wild… back home I just collapsed on the bed...
With out alarm i woke up at 5:48 and found that mom had already reached home... and asked mom to call me at 7... at 7, i asked her to call at 7:15... she called at 7:24 and i am here.... crazy day....
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Unexpected Friday
Never felt so fidgety, for any of the 4 personal interviews… now for the last and the most important one…I felt very nervous… on Thursday night, I spent one hour with my most wonderful foe who also happened to be my ex school mate who digressed on and on about Osho’s sexual philosophies… hit bed without revising and revised only in the morning… and luckily during the interview…they asked only what I had prepared… good…everything was as expected, except the last part…where the interviewer said, I had a low CTC with 4 years of experience that too with 2 sap certifications…my whole day was spoiled…
I had not had my breakfast… and I didn’t feel like having my lunch until one hour later, when my tummy started grumbling…I mixed carrots, green peas, beans, okra and made a simple sambar rice in cooker in one go… and gulped down… even then…I felt so bad…so I did the thing, I always do, when I am depressed or whenever exams are there nearby…I started cleaning the house…I had taken one day pass…thinking,…I will go the city market and buy some veggies and flowers for the special meals I would make for mom… I started cleaning around 1:30 and till 5:30…I was still sweeping the 1 bedroom house…I cleaned up …arranged the books and found that Shub had the week supplement of a wonderful booklet with erotic pictures… I placed it carefully as well… along with her other medical books… In my effort to engage myself…I had pulled off the fan wire while I was removing the cobwebs from the bedroom ceiling fan… the fan had stopped working…and I was removing cobwebs on Friday…don’t know why ppl say that you are not supposed to remove cobwebs on Friday… got to research why…
Just as I was sweeping…P1 called… oh my god…now I have got my fears confirmed… even if it was an ayiliyum with a Piscean sun and ascendant…I would not have her for my roomie…though it is great talking to an ayiliyum… she was our project Aishwarya Rai’s friend’s friend… I was supposed to safe guard the guruvayur prasadam in fridge… till she came and collected it from me on Friday evening… she sounded so snobbish with her English over mobile and I had decided to go to city market once she had left… room was spic and span by the time she came… from a distance she was super slim…with thin legs…a neat figure…and with an exaggerated sway in her walk… she had back problem…so she could not come by auto …oh well… who does not have a back problem these days…
We shook hands near the corporation atm and I led her inside… gave her water and offered her grapes…my idea was to serve green grapes in the green bowl and pomegranate in the pink bowl…but she came before I could separate the pomegranate seeds and present it neatly…she said no to coffee or tea… good I didn’t have milk as well…but I could have made her sukku malli kapi…
So she started with her stories… her saga… will I say all such things in the first visit …don’t know…but I know why she said it…she is a December 7 gal… a frank saggi… okie… understandable…she was 36 she said… a good 9 years senior to me…still unmarried… okie her blabberings are even more understandable…I have seen a post woman giving in to an already married guy of 56 with kids when she was 39 and still unmarried…
She said about our Aishwarya’s friend’s father… I had always seen this gal as a gal of few stern words… I didn’t know that she had a handsome father… that her parents were so beautiful that P1 used to say that P was adopted from the streets… in fact P is pretty good looking… nevertheless her father was like those Raymond ads guys… he was admitted around December 31 for cancer that turned out to be Sarcoma… P1 described how the connective tissues die and how the legs were swollen like an elephants and how on placing the scalpel…all the flesh spilled over… man… I was felt so squeezy… it was March 11 when he died… P1 was the first one to break the news about this aggressive cancer to P… P was strong and she accepted it… she felt it was torturous to let her dad suffer so much of pain… when his skin was pulled taut with all those cells and tissues waging a war beneath his skin… her hus was also a number 7 guy and they silently got married within one year of her father’s death… P’s husband is so understanding and they get along each other nicely… P1 said she was happy for P and P’s mom could not stop crying on P’s wedding… Now i feel...who ever is strong and appears stern has gone through something... i need to be good with every one...
After this P1 told about Pankaj’s story that made me gasp and cringe with despair….
P1 is the admin department with AZ…and she had business contacts with Pankaj for more than 5 years… she always used to say hello and he would always start with a Namaskar…then suddenly she found that for the past 6 months she was not able to reach out to him…he was supposed to have resigned his job… or something like that… she reduced the business with company A… and suddenly last week she got a call from Pankaj and he called her for lunch on Wednesday to explain things…. P1 agreed, thinking, let me see the guy with whom I have been talking over phone for the past 5 years without seeing even once…
Pankaj had been returning home near Hebbal road around 11 pm after a party… suddenly 5 call taxi or call center cab drivers shoved him inside his own car with a knife pointed at his neck…they closed all the black tinted windows of the car and put on loud music… Pankaj could not shout cause the knife was pressed deep inside the skin… and when he could shout… no one came to his rescue because of music... even a police van on the way missed this…all the way from Bangalore to Krishnagiri they kept on stabbing him with knife all over his face and shoulders… to extract the pin of the credit card… P1 said, come on we just use credit card for buying items …who would remember the pin of the credit card… however those guys didn’t believe Pankai and they tortured him with knife cuts…on the way those 5 guys made couple of calls… which Pankaj carefully memorized… wrote couple of numbers on his thighs…while the guys were busy poking with knife on Pankaj… near by Krishnagiri…Pankaj decided his only way to survive was to pretend being dead…those guys slit his throat from ear to ear… and Pankaj held his breath when they kept their fingers near his nostrils… they then took on to stabbing his thighs to see if he was really dead… Pankaj bore the pain and pretended to be dead… at last after the 5 guys were satisfied that Pankai was really dead…they threw Pankaj on the road and fled away… Pankaj lay on the road without moving for 1 hour on the krishnagiri road… then around 5 am he got up and walked…initially no one came to help him…thinking he was a beggar or a mad man… his whole what remained of his dress was drenched with blood and at last some middle class woman (why did P1 use this word?) helped him out… they took him to a Police station and then to a hospital… when the doctors put his two fingers in this neck…it could come out at the other side…his voice box was paralyzed by the time he reached Mallya hospital… but now he is talking… he has come over it… god alone has got him through… he gave the numbers to police station and identified the 5 guys and those 5 guys are in the jail now… apparently they had also killed an engineer earlier… well…Pankaj had bared his collar to show his neck slit to P1… he could not show the wound in his thighs to P1… Pankaj now calls up police if he finds some car moving suspiciously… he feels it is ok to raise false alarms…even if he was able to save at least one person during those efforts… Pankaj’s photos came in the newspapers after his miraculous survival and that fact that his tormentors were punished…I could not help admiring Pankaj for his guts and tolerance and cringe as to why god lets such things ever happen… P1 went on and on…
At times, I was moved to tears… she had compressed disk problem because of which her leg was paralyzed and she was not able to walk for 6 months… by Sri Krishna’s grace she had started walking again… she had a high metabolic rate and hence she didn’t have to maintain her figure…this guruvayur prasadam was for her back…she said…she had seen her mom’s last breath…she had seen her mom’s twin sister’s death… all at an young age…which is still fresh in her memories.. she had recurring dreams where it was as if she was sitting in a temple on a cold stone slab surrounded by lush green grass… she said…she had seen her dead mom in her dreams… but in her dreams her mom was always active… not as the sick person as in her last few months… she had a niece who was 21 years old and a nephew was 24 years old… she was from Coorg…the guys who had seen her had asked if she was virgin… and this had put her off…at times zodiac didn’t match…but most times… it simply didn’t click and 36 yrs had flown by…and she had a stern way of speaking… but her words were kind and she was warm hearted once you got speaking to her… she looked so strong and snobbish at the first sight but after 2 hrs with her around 8 pm…I was literally crying… begging her to stay with me for the night or have dinner …I was touched…she was such a caring and a warm hearted person… I accompanied her till the bus stand and she was off…I completely forgot about going to city market…I made another trip after coming home to at least get milk for mom in the morning… I hit the bed…thanking god for the number she gave me… after my yoga quest…I was searching for a reiki guru…some one who teach me pranic healing… if mom was not coming over the weekend… I would have met him then… now I have to meet him over next weekend…or this week if god wills…
I had not had my breakfast… and I didn’t feel like having my lunch until one hour later, when my tummy started grumbling…I mixed carrots, green peas, beans, okra and made a simple sambar rice in cooker in one go… and gulped down… even then…I felt so bad…so I did the thing, I always do, when I am depressed or whenever exams are there nearby…I started cleaning the house…I had taken one day pass…thinking,…I will go the city market and buy some veggies and flowers for the special meals I would make for mom… I started cleaning around 1:30 and till 5:30…I was still sweeping the 1 bedroom house…I cleaned up …arranged the books and found that Shub had the week supplement of a wonderful booklet with erotic pictures… I placed it carefully as well… along with her other medical books… In my effort to engage myself…I had pulled off the fan wire while I was removing the cobwebs from the bedroom ceiling fan… the fan had stopped working…and I was removing cobwebs on Friday…don’t know why ppl say that you are not supposed to remove cobwebs on Friday… got to research why…
Just as I was sweeping…P1 called… oh my god…now I have got my fears confirmed… even if it was an ayiliyum with a Piscean sun and ascendant…I would not have her for my roomie…though it is great talking to an ayiliyum… she was our project Aishwarya Rai’s friend’s friend… I was supposed to safe guard the guruvayur prasadam in fridge… till she came and collected it from me on Friday evening… she sounded so snobbish with her English over mobile and I had decided to go to city market once she had left… room was spic and span by the time she came… from a distance she was super slim…with thin legs…a neat figure…and with an exaggerated sway in her walk… she had back problem…so she could not come by auto …oh well… who does not have a back problem these days…
We shook hands near the corporation atm and I led her inside… gave her water and offered her grapes…my idea was to serve green grapes in the green bowl and pomegranate in the pink bowl…but she came before I could separate the pomegranate seeds and present it neatly…she said no to coffee or tea… good I didn’t have milk as well…but I could have made her sukku malli kapi…
So she started with her stories… her saga… will I say all such things in the first visit …don’t know…but I know why she said it…she is a December 7 gal… a frank saggi… okie… understandable…she was 36 she said… a good 9 years senior to me…still unmarried… okie her blabberings are even more understandable…I have seen a post woman giving in to an already married guy of 56 with kids when she was 39 and still unmarried…
She said about our Aishwarya’s friend’s father… I had always seen this gal as a gal of few stern words… I didn’t know that she had a handsome father… that her parents were so beautiful that P1 used to say that P was adopted from the streets… in fact P is pretty good looking… nevertheless her father was like those Raymond ads guys… he was admitted around December 31 for cancer that turned out to be Sarcoma… P1 described how the connective tissues die and how the legs were swollen like an elephants and how on placing the scalpel…all the flesh spilled over… man… I was felt so squeezy… it was March 11 when he died… P1 was the first one to break the news about this aggressive cancer to P… P was strong and she accepted it… she felt it was torturous to let her dad suffer so much of pain… when his skin was pulled taut with all those cells and tissues waging a war beneath his skin… her hus was also a number 7 guy and they silently got married within one year of her father’s death… P’s husband is so understanding and they get along each other nicely… P1 said she was happy for P and P’s mom could not stop crying on P’s wedding… Now i feel...who ever is strong and appears stern has gone through something... i need to be good with every one...
After this P1 told about Pankaj’s story that made me gasp and cringe with despair….
P1 is the admin department with AZ…and she had business contacts with Pankaj for more than 5 years… she always used to say hello and he would always start with a Namaskar…then suddenly she found that for the past 6 months she was not able to reach out to him…he was supposed to have resigned his job… or something like that… she reduced the business with company A… and suddenly last week she got a call from Pankaj and he called her for lunch on Wednesday to explain things…. P1 agreed, thinking, let me see the guy with whom I have been talking over phone for the past 5 years without seeing even once…
Pankaj had been returning home near Hebbal road around 11 pm after a party… suddenly 5 call taxi or call center cab drivers shoved him inside his own car with a knife pointed at his neck…they closed all the black tinted windows of the car and put on loud music… Pankaj could not shout cause the knife was pressed deep inside the skin… and when he could shout… no one came to his rescue because of music... even a police van on the way missed this…all the way from Bangalore to Krishnagiri they kept on stabbing him with knife all over his face and shoulders… to extract the pin of the credit card… P1 said, come on we just use credit card for buying items …who would remember the pin of the credit card… however those guys didn’t believe Pankai and they tortured him with knife cuts…on the way those 5 guys made couple of calls… which Pankaj carefully memorized… wrote couple of numbers on his thighs…while the guys were busy poking with knife on Pankaj… near by Krishnagiri…Pankaj decided his only way to survive was to pretend being dead…those guys slit his throat from ear to ear… and Pankaj held his breath when they kept their fingers near his nostrils… they then took on to stabbing his thighs to see if he was really dead… Pankaj bore the pain and pretended to be dead… at last after the 5 guys were satisfied that Pankai was really dead…they threw Pankaj on the road and fled away… Pankaj lay on the road without moving for 1 hour on the krishnagiri road… then around 5 am he got up and walked…initially no one came to help him…thinking he was a beggar or a mad man… his whole what remained of his dress was drenched with blood and at last some middle class woman (why did P1 use this word?) helped him out… they took him to a Police station and then to a hospital… when the doctors put his two fingers in this neck…it could come out at the other side…his voice box was paralyzed by the time he reached Mallya hospital… but now he is talking… he has come over it… god alone has got him through… he gave the numbers to police station and identified the 5 guys and those 5 guys are in the jail now… apparently they had also killed an engineer earlier… well…Pankaj had bared his collar to show his neck slit to P1… he could not show the wound in his thighs to P1… Pankaj now calls up police if he finds some car moving suspiciously… he feels it is ok to raise false alarms…even if he was able to save at least one person during those efforts… Pankaj’s photos came in the newspapers after his miraculous survival and that fact that his tormentors were punished…I could not help admiring Pankaj for his guts and tolerance and cringe as to why god lets such things ever happen… P1 went on and on…
At times, I was moved to tears… she had compressed disk problem because of which her leg was paralyzed and she was not able to walk for 6 months… by Sri Krishna’s grace she had started walking again… she had a high metabolic rate and hence she didn’t have to maintain her figure…this guruvayur prasadam was for her back…she said…she had seen her mom’s last breath…she had seen her mom’s twin sister’s death… all at an young age…which is still fresh in her memories.. she had recurring dreams where it was as if she was sitting in a temple on a cold stone slab surrounded by lush green grass… she said…she had seen her dead mom in her dreams… but in her dreams her mom was always active… not as the sick person as in her last few months… she had a niece who was 21 years old and a nephew was 24 years old… she was from Coorg…the guys who had seen her had asked if she was virgin… and this had put her off…at times zodiac didn’t match…but most times… it simply didn’t click and 36 yrs had flown by…and she had a stern way of speaking… but her words were kind and she was warm hearted once you got speaking to her… she looked so strong and snobbish at the first sight but after 2 hrs with her around 8 pm…I was literally crying… begging her to stay with me for the night or have dinner …I was touched…she was such a caring and a warm hearted person… I accompanied her till the bus stand and she was off…I completely forgot about going to city market…I made another trip after coming home to at least get milk for mom in the morning… I hit the bed…thanking god for the number she gave me… after my yoga quest…I was searching for a reiki guru…some one who teach me pranic healing… if mom was not coming over the weekend… I would have met him then… now I have to meet him over next weekend…or this week if god wills…
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Devasena's Nithya
How I met her?
Every time, I take up lalithasahasranama, I end up remembering Devasena and Nithyasri. I wanted my right hamstring to be perfect when I joined college again. Hence, I decided that I will try kerala ayurvedha stuff as well, And when I met the doctor, he asked, "do you want a separate room or sharing one?" I did not want my mom to forgo her leave and I didn’t want to sleep alone either, so I said, I will share and then the doctor said you can share it with a qyoood little gal (in his strong mallu accent). Paavam she cannot walk. I checked in on 26 December, Wednesday, without considering the days, for I had my FMS MBA entrance exam on Jan 13 and XAT on Jan 6, the earlier I get discharged the better. The wonderful doc didn’t let me write my jan 6 exam, 14 continuous days he wanted. And I had to cancel my train tickets and forgo my xat exam fees, the funny part was the letters from other B schools later that started with “congrats on clearing the first step of giving xat”…well whatever…coming back to Nithya…
Cute little Nithyasri
She was cute indeed. She reminded me of the increasing number of Brahmins who beget mentally challenged children. Garuda puranam mentions a disease for each of the previous janma karmas. But I could not find the sin that results in broken bones. Should be grave enough.
Nithyasri, was really charming. Kanni hastham, September with a sun number, believe should be Sep 1st. DS had married her cousin, her dad’s sister’s son. In spite of getting her own aunt as mother in law, the usual daughter-in-law mother-in-law squabbles existed. In the ward, I didn’t want to be bogged by their loud mouthed talks. I pretended to bury myself in quants, while Varsha paati related Nithya’s stories to everyone who came to see her. Once Varsha paati learnt my story from my dad who happened to be Varsha paati’s husband’s ex colleague, she started relating my story to her visitors to my utter embarrassment. I could not help hearing all these stories. These ladies just relate it aloud. Even am doing the same thing now by writing this. No big difference.
MIL DIL squabble
Whenever, her mother-in-law cum aunt used to come DS’s place, she would be like a guest and not help with anything. When DS was too tired after all days work and lie for sometime, her mother-in-law would moan that DS ignored her and didn’t talk to her. Within moments after DS settled, her her mother-in-law would come and talk as in that JLo movie, where her would be mother in law barges in and talks the whole night.
Varsha Patti was in the first bed, DS and Nithya in the middle bed and I was in the last bed farthest from door. DS and Varsha Patti would constantly pour out to each other.
DS - A fighter from day 1
So DS had married her own cousin and he worked in BDU. Anyone who has been to the central bus stand knows that it is a limca book of records thing to board and alight K1 bus after mathur bus stop. He was a thin bony skeleton of a man and DS was solid lady having given birth to charming adithya only months earlier. DS’s husband never helped DS with anything, the whole house was a mess it seems. He would not wash his clothes, he would just put his clothes on the bed, make just little room for sleeping and sleep in the edge. DS’s mom was old and she just kept the kitchen clean, the other rooms were a mess. DS had got everything a house needed, so that when she got her own house, she could shift without having to buy a thing.
Childhood in Lalgudi
DS and her brothers were born and brought up in Lalgudi. During pongal each of them would take charge of a room and white wash the whole house with gusto. As a kid, she would do everything right from buying vegetables to paying electricity bills. Her brothers would just watch TV and command DS to fetch water and DS would meekly obey. Now her brothers after marriage, as soon as they return from office, would go out to market to buy vegetables. DS has a wonderful way of relating things that you tend to listen to her in spite of yourself.
DS’s elder sister had polio right from her childhood and was wheel chair ridden. DS and her mother had to do everything for her. DS was glad when her sister’s periods stopped recently.
NithyaSri's hospital Saga
NithyaSri had fallen off the bed in her sleep right on the second day she got admitted in the Kerala Ayervedha hospital. And everyone loved Nithya, even I could not help it, you tend to get so attached to her. When Nithya was born, she had some problems because of which she was put in incubator for 4 months. It cost around 2L for DS, but DS struck to her baby. DS related with fond affection about the 4 sisters who took special care of Nithya. DS still has contacts with all of them it seems. DS went to all of their marriages. One sister especially would first come and grab Nithya the moment she entered the hospital, checking bps of other patients while she snuggled Nithya against her bossom. Nithya had Cerebral palsy and docs said, she would not talk.
After 4 months when Nithya was discharged, Nithya didn’t pee the whole day. DS got so scared that she ran to the doc again, and the moment doc put Nithya on her belly, Nithya peed, the doc exclaimed, look how happy your mommy is on seeing you pee. The way DS related this to Varsha Patti sweetly in tamizh amused me.
Nithya had developed one more problem, because of which DS took her to some city hospital. The chief doc was not present and the attending doc, asked the duty sister to give some injection. The sister was careless during giving the injection and DS could see N’s eyes rolling up as the injection was administered. After this incident, N’s legs got intertwined and she didn’t walk on her two legs. N is now 8 years old but looks like a 5 yr old. She used to crawl all these years, however now after just 5 days in K, she had started walking rather ambling on her legs, albeit a bit slowly, but a definite positive improvement.
DS sings beautifully… and I wanted to learn karnatic music very badly…
NithyaSri's younger brother
DS was not scared about having another child. Just that she didn’t feel like having another kid. She said, no would be able to take care of N as she did, not even her mom. I could see that, in the mornings when DS went home to breastfeed Adithya, and N’s grand mom came. I could see the distance they maintained. When DS was around, N would be cuddled, it was simply joyous to see the love DS showered on N. I don’t think, if I had any mentally challenged child, I would have let it live in the first place…I would have killed it or abandoned it…whether I would have the heart to live any longer after that…god only knows…
One more thing about DS's mom that amused me was the fact that she didn't differentitate between her sons and daughters... if her sons made mischief or complained about the food, she would just snatch the plate from them and say "don't eat"... DS added, her mom however took utmost care of them in all other aspects... she was very strict it seems... she would want the room clean and she would want the kids to dry out clothes properly without any shrinks....
And when DS’s sister in law came to baby sit, N…it was even more horrible… N did not like milk… though she drank milk and bitter medicines when DS gave it to her.. N would cry venna venna… and DS’s sister-in-law would literally shout at her like anything… and teary eyed N would drink half a tumbler and puke her milk and her meager dinner in the end… I used to feel bad and literally would want to slap that lady… but had to remain rooted to my bed…
When N had got admitted… her new born brother Adithya got loose motion, since DS had abruptly stopped breastfeeding and gave baby food that didn’t agree with Adithya… while N was admitted in one hospital…DS had to admit Adithya in another hospital to get his dysentery treated… DS related another story of a kid swallowing a pencil being admitted… she was glad that god didn’t let her bother about paying Adithya’s hospitalization expenses…one famous dancer had given the amount without even DS asking for it… DS was getting down one auto and the bharatnatyam dancer was getting down another auto when they both met and DS related how she had got Nithya and Adithya admitted… the next day the dancer had sent the money through her house boy with a request - not to repay… also she said…how famous lawyers and accountants sent their gals to learn music from her and how they saw N and voluntarily gave more money… one gal’s parents had given DS 2k without asking for any repayment….
DS said, she was glad god helped her in all ways… man…I really admired her for her courage and the love she showered on N…
When DS was 7 months pregnant with Adithya or Nithya… the dancer’s singer had was not able to come with her to Andaman Nicobar islands for a performance… DS agreed to sail in ship even in those stages for 10k… the dancer had got 1L for the performance… it was the dancer who had recommended the hospital for Nithya to DS initially…
When N was 7 years old… DS heard about free surgery’s being performed in Thirupathi hospital.. DS had taken N to get her intertwined legs separated… N had big big scars on both her thighs and knees… DS went on to relate this incident as well… DS was pregnant with Adithya then and she went to Thirupathi alone… there was some trust that booked the tickets and appointments for her in the hospital…only for this trip she got her mobile… she spoke to the guy and he had come to pick her up in the railway station… since this was free hospital…quality was non existent… she had to share the bathroom with 20 others… sleep in a large hall… and wait in the queue for free food… I could not imagine a pregnant lady doing all this… and N still had to be carried then…
There was one more kid, Manjunath who also had to be operated upon… Nithya and Manjunath became friends and were braving themselves for the surgery day… on the day of operation, they refused to operate upon Nithya since she had blocked nose and cold… once Nithya came back from the theatre… Manjunath was taken to the theatre…where he threw tantrums…brought the whole hospital down and convinced the doctors to operate him on the day Nithya had her surgery… finally the kids got operated on the same day….again, the hospital offered no support after the surgery… after surgery….they had to vacate and come back after 11 days for stitch removal… in Nithya’s case… DS arranged for a place to stay through trust… immediately after surgery… Nithya was having so much pain that she started hitting DS… DS bore it even as Nithya pulled at her mother’s earrings till it bled… DS’s heart wept thinking that her kid had to suffer so much of pain…not caring about her own ears….
After stitches were removed…N’s both legs were put in POP and DS had a big luggage and she was 7-8 months pregnant… DS related with emotion as to how the porter booked the unreserved train ticket from Thirupathi to trichy… he carried N carefully in his arms and put the luggage on his head and asked DS to follow him… he went to the handicapped compartment and got DS settled…and asked DS not to open the door once the TT came till trichy…and he did not accept the 50 that DS gave him…
I remembered the time in December 2005, when I had to travel unreserved every weekend to trichy to see my hospitalized mom…coz buses took a longer time and meant too much of shaking… many a times the whole ladies compartment was filled with handicapped ladies…I was wondering why they didn’t take the handicapped coach… and here the other ladies were not even giving seat to these ladies…I felt so disgusted with the whole state of affairs…and decided am not going to travel unreserved any time in my life henceforth… there would be some guy who would pay the TT and occupy the handicapped coach and these gals would have to suffer… govt has so many good schemes and as always…they are never implemented… however in DS’s case, it was genuine…she needed the space and rest… she was back to trichy and took charge again….
After Adithya was born, when DS breastfed him for the first time, she could not help crying, thinking, if Nithya had got the nutrition as well…she would have grown up much stronger… Nithya and Adithya get along with each other and DS keeps on saying to Adithya that he has to take care of Nithya when he grows up…
Since, I was always with my exam books, Nithya too wanted to study…I gave her my scrap book and she wanted me to give her sums… she did addition of single digit numbers correctly… she didn’t understand the minus sign… I was writing about Nithya in my note as well…when I could not concentrate on my quants problems… and she took on copying everything I wrote on my note…I used to practice my word list with her and she got the meaning and the pronunciation correctly… thanks to dad who told the doc, that I was preparing for mba instead of concentrating on marriage, the doc… never liked to see me with books and he used to scold me if curled up on the bed engrossed in quants… following what he said, even the panchakarma therapists took on to admonishing me if I was with my preparatory materials…I got so sick of all this… and I got irritable… and I took on to hiding the books under the pillows and beneath the bed sheet when they were around and took to utilizing all other time when they would not be there to disturb me… according the crazy doc, I was not supposed to sit on the bed…just lie down 24 hours a day and enjoy life… crazy idea of enjoying life… and since I was stealing time, I wanted no distractions… there was a window and table chair next to it… I used to sit there and practice math… the moment I sat there…Nithya too wanted to sit next to me… close to me…so that she could copy what I was doing and so that I could give simple math problems to her… but that day I was irritated with the doc and panchakarma gals… DS assumed that I will take care of N when she went to have her coffee… but u know, how it is with kids… though N, had started walking, she was so fragile… I had to constantly keep a watch on her while she sat on the single bed or sat on the chair, so that she does not fall down… and that day, the moment, I sat, DS put the chair next to me, so that N could sit… the next moment, I got up from my seat and went back to bed to do math…N was hurt that day… and DS did not go for coffee break and I could not practice math that day… in fact after that I left practicing at all… wrote my exam without sticking on my prepared schedule and I was surprised, when I got the call from fms this march…
After that I told DS, please you go have your coffee… I will take care of Nithya… but DS did not go… after a day I got back her good will again… and on the last day…DS used to say how much N used to take care of DS… DS used to have lower back problem and once when DS had curled up in pain… N recited the whole Kanda Shasti kavasam without any mistake…of course, Nithya can not even pronounce my name properly… but am sure she will pick up… her left hand lines are weak…but her right hand lines are strong… she will become somebody for all that troubles DS has gone through…On the last day of discharge …DS agreed to sing songs for me following my request…I told her to sing, non karnatic songs, other than kurai ondrum illai…because, I knew only that song and I always wanted to listen only to MS’s voice singing it… DS sang one song that she had composed and sang it… I was not all that impressed… later she sang Bharathiyar’s song that was Nithya’s favourite and Thedinaen deva deva from raghavendra that transported me to some other world… it was too good… after that the gals came to take me for the oil massage and I wanted to give her some money or at least the apple I had… but while I was in the treatment room, I realized, she was going to go right away and so I asked the panchakarma gal to ask DS to write her contact details… while going when I was still in the treatment room, DS told that she had written her mobile number in my lalitha book cover… I felt bad, I didn’t give her anything… well… world is too small… I will meet her and give her something…
The day N got discharged… DS was saying, the house was in disarray…fan was not working and Nithya needed fan… what to do …you can not ask Nithya if she had been born in AC…for right after birth she was in AC for quite some time… DS’s husband just goes to BDU and comes back… now DS is in charge as usual… she has to get the electrician… get the fan working… clean up the house… she has arranged a yoga teacher for N… could be because she saw me doing asanas and pranayam some of which I taught her… and am sure DS will not turn any stone unturned if Nithya’s is involved… she has fixed a dentist’s appointment for Nithya… am sure Nithya will become somebody…. Sometime, later Varsha Patti’s story….
Every time, I take up lalithasahasranama, I end up remembering Devasena and Nithyasri. I wanted my right hamstring to be perfect when I joined college again. Hence, I decided that I will try kerala ayurvedha stuff as well, And when I met the doctor, he asked, "do you want a separate room or sharing one?" I did not want my mom to forgo her leave and I didn’t want to sleep alone either, so I said, I will share and then the doctor said you can share it with a qyoood little gal (in his strong mallu accent). Paavam she cannot walk. I checked in on 26 December, Wednesday, without considering the days, for I had my FMS MBA entrance exam on Jan 13 and XAT on Jan 6, the earlier I get discharged the better. The wonderful doc didn’t let me write my jan 6 exam, 14 continuous days he wanted. And I had to cancel my train tickets and forgo my xat exam fees, the funny part was the letters from other B schools later that started with “congrats on clearing the first step of giving xat”…well whatever…coming back to Nithya…
Cute little Nithyasri
She was cute indeed. She reminded me of the increasing number of Brahmins who beget mentally challenged children. Garuda puranam mentions a disease for each of the previous janma karmas. But I could not find the sin that results in broken bones. Should be grave enough.
Nithyasri, was really charming. Kanni hastham, September with a sun number, believe should be Sep 1st. DS had married her cousin, her dad’s sister’s son. In spite of getting her own aunt as mother in law, the usual daughter-in-law mother-in-law squabbles existed. In the ward, I didn’t want to be bogged by their loud mouthed talks. I pretended to bury myself in quants, while Varsha paati related Nithya’s stories to everyone who came to see her. Once Varsha paati learnt my story from my dad who happened to be Varsha paati’s husband’s ex colleague, she started relating my story to her visitors to my utter embarrassment. I could not help hearing all these stories. These ladies just relate it aloud. Even am doing the same thing now by writing this. No big difference.
MIL DIL squabble
Whenever, her mother-in-law cum aunt used to come DS’s place, she would be like a guest and not help with anything. When DS was too tired after all days work and lie for sometime, her mother-in-law would moan that DS ignored her and didn’t talk to her. Within moments after DS settled, her her mother-in-law would come and talk as in that JLo movie, where her would be mother in law barges in and talks the whole night.
Varsha Patti was in the first bed, DS and Nithya in the middle bed and I was in the last bed farthest from door. DS and Varsha Patti would constantly pour out to each other.
DS - A fighter from day 1
So DS had married her own cousin and he worked in BDU. Anyone who has been to the central bus stand knows that it is a limca book of records thing to board and alight K1 bus after mathur bus stop. He was a thin bony skeleton of a man and DS was solid lady having given birth to charming adithya only months earlier. DS’s husband never helped DS with anything, the whole house was a mess it seems. He would not wash his clothes, he would just put his clothes on the bed, make just little room for sleeping and sleep in the edge. DS’s mom was old and she just kept the kitchen clean, the other rooms were a mess. DS had got everything a house needed, so that when she got her own house, she could shift without having to buy a thing.
Childhood in Lalgudi
DS and her brothers were born and brought up in Lalgudi. During pongal each of them would take charge of a room and white wash the whole house with gusto. As a kid, she would do everything right from buying vegetables to paying electricity bills. Her brothers would just watch TV and command DS to fetch water and DS would meekly obey. Now her brothers after marriage, as soon as they return from office, would go out to market to buy vegetables. DS has a wonderful way of relating things that you tend to listen to her in spite of yourself.
DS’s elder sister had polio right from her childhood and was wheel chair ridden. DS and her mother had to do everything for her. DS was glad when her sister’s periods stopped recently.
NithyaSri's hospital Saga
NithyaSri had fallen off the bed in her sleep right on the second day she got admitted in the Kerala Ayervedha hospital. And everyone loved Nithya, even I could not help it, you tend to get so attached to her. When Nithya was born, she had some problems because of which she was put in incubator for 4 months. It cost around 2L for DS, but DS struck to her baby. DS related with fond affection about the 4 sisters who took special care of Nithya. DS still has contacts with all of them it seems. DS went to all of their marriages. One sister especially would first come and grab Nithya the moment she entered the hospital, checking bps of other patients while she snuggled Nithya against her bossom. Nithya had Cerebral palsy and docs said, she would not talk.
After 4 months when Nithya was discharged, Nithya didn’t pee the whole day. DS got so scared that she ran to the doc again, and the moment doc put Nithya on her belly, Nithya peed, the doc exclaimed, look how happy your mommy is on seeing you pee. The way DS related this to Varsha Patti sweetly in tamizh amused me.
Nithya had developed one more problem, because of which DS took her to some city hospital. The chief doc was not present and the attending doc, asked the duty sister to give some injection. The sister was careless during giving the injection and DS could see N’s eyes rolling up as the injection was administered. After this incident, N’s legs got intertwined and she didn’t walk on her two legs. N is now 8 years old but looks like a 5 yr old. She used to crawl all these years, however now after just 5 days in K, she had started walking rather ambling on her legs, albeit a bit slowly, but a definite positive improvement.
DS sings beautifully… and I wanted to learn karnatic music very badly…
NithyaSri's younger brother
DS was not scared about having another child. Just that she didn’t feel like having another kid. She said, no would be able to take care of N as she did, not even her mom. I could see that, in the mornings when DS went home to breastfeed Adithya, and N’s grand mom came. I could see the distance they maintained. When DS was around, N would be cuddled, it was simply joyous to see the love DS showered on N. I don’t think, if I had any mentally challenged child, I would have let it live in the first place…I would have killed it or abandoned it…whether I would have the heart to live any longer after that…god only knows…
One more thing about DS's mom that amused me was the fact that she didn't differentitate between her sons and daughters... if her sons made mischief or complained about the food, she would just snatch the plate from them and say "don't eat"... DS added, her mom however took utmost care of them in all other aspects... she was very strict it seems... she would want the room clean and she would want the kids to dry out clothes properly without any shrinks....
And when DS’s sister in law came to baby sit, N…it was even more horrible… N did not like milk… though she drank milk and bitter medicines when DS gave it to her.. N would cry venna venna… and DS’s sister-in-law would literally shout at her like anything… and teary eyed N would drink half a tumbler and puke her milk and her meager dinner in the end… I used to feel bad and literally would want to slap that lady… but had to remain rooted to my bed…
When N had got admitted… her new born brother Adithya got loose motion, since DS had abruptly stopped breastfeeding and gave baby food that didn’t agree with Adithya… while N was admitted in one hospital…DS had to admit Adithya in another hospital to get his dysentery treated… DS related another story of a kid swallowing a pencil being admitted… she was glad that god didn’t let her bother about paying Adithya’s hospitalization expenses…one famous dancer had given the amount without even DS asking for it… DS was getting down one auto and the bharatnatyam dancer was getting down another auto when they both met and DS related how she had got Nithya and Adithya admitted… the next day the dancer had sent the money through her house boy with a request - not to repay… also she said…how famous lawyers and accountants sent their gals to learn music from her and how they saw N and voluntarily gave more money… one gal’s parents had given DS 2k without asking for any repayment….
DS said, she was glad god helped her in all ways… man…I really admired her for her courage and the love she showered on N…
When DS was 7 months pregnant with Adithya or Nithya… the dancer’s singer had was not able to come with her to Andaman Nicobar islands for a performance… DS agreed to sail in ship even in those stages for 10k… the dancer had got 1L for the performance… it was the dancer who had recommended the hospital for Nithya to DS initially…
When N was 7 years old… DS heard about free surgery’s being performed in Thirupathi hospital.. DS had taken N to get her intertwined legs separated… N had big big scars on both her thighs and knees… DS went on to relate this incident as well… DS was pregnant with Adithya then and she went to Thirupathi alone… there was some trust that booked the tickets and appointments for her in the hospital…only for this trip she got her mobile… she spoke to the guy and he had come to pick her up in the railway station… since this was free hospital…quality was non existent… she had to share the bathroom with 20 others… sleep in a large hall… and wait in the queue for free food… I could not imagine a pregnant lady doing all this… and N still had to be carried then…
There was one more kid, Manjunath who also had to be operated upon… Nithya and Manjunath became friends and were braving themselves for the surgery day… on the day of operation, they refused to operate upon Nithya since she had blocked nose and cold… once Nithya came back from the theatre… Manjunath was taken to the theatre…where he threw tantrums…brought the whole hospital down and convinced the doctors to operate him on the day Nithya had her surgery… finally the kids got operated on the same day….again, the hospital offered no support after the surgery… after surgery….they had to vacate and come back after 11 days for stitch removal… in Nithya’s case… DS arranged for a place to stay through trust… immediately after surgery… Nithya was having so much pain that she started hitting DS… DS bore it even as Nithya pulled at her mother’s earrings till it bled… DS’s heart wept thinking that her kid had to suffer so much of pain…not caring about her own ears….
After stitches were removed…N’s both legs were put in POP and DS had a big luggage and she was 7-8 months pregnant… DS related with emotion as to how the porter booked the unreserved train ticket from Thirupathi to trichy… he carried N carefully in his arms and put the luggage on his head and asked DS to follow him… he went to the handicapped compartment and got DS settled…and asked DS not to open the door once the TT came till trichy…and he did not accept the 50 that DS gave him…
I remembered the time in December 2005, when I had to travel unreserved every weekend to trichy to see my hospitalized mom…coz buses took a longer time and meant too much of shaking… many a times the whole ladies compartment was filled with handicapped ladies…I was wondering why they didn’t take the handicapped coach… and here the other ladies were not even giving seat to these ladies…I felt so disgusted with the whole state of affairs…and decided am not going to travel unreserved any time in my life henceforth… there would be some guy who would pay the TT and occupy the handicapped coach and these gals would have to suffer… govt has so many good schemes and as always…they are never implemented… however in DS’s case, it was genuine…she needed the space and rest… she was back to trichy and took charge again….
After Adithya was born, when DS breastfed him for the first time, she could not help crying, thinking, if Nithya had got the nutrition as well…she would have grown up much stronger… Nithya and Adithya get along with each other and DS keeps on saying to Adithya that he has to take care of Nithya when he grows up…
Since, I was always with my exam books, Nithya too wanted to study…I gave her my scrap book and she wanted me to give her sums… she did addition of single digit numbers correctly… she didn’t understand the minus sign… I was writing about Nithya in my note as well…when I could not concentrate on my quants problems… and she took on copying everything I wrote on my note…I used to practice my word list with her and she got the meaning and the pronunciation correctly… thanks to dad who told the doc, that I was preparing for mba instead of concentrating on marriage, the doc… never liked to see me with books and he used to scold me if curled up on the bed engrossed in quants… following what he said, even the panchakarma therapists took on to admonishing me if I was with my preparatory materials…I got so sick of all this… and I got irritable… and I took on to hiding the books under the pillows and beneath the bed sheet when they were around and took to utilizing all other time when they would not be there to disturb me… according the crazy doc, I was not supposed to sit on the bed…just lie down 24 hours a day and enjoy life… crazy idea of enjoying life… and since I was stealing time, I wanted no distractions… there was a window and table chair next to it… I used to sit there and practice math… the moment I sat there…Nithya too wanted to sit next to me… close to me…so that she could copy what I was doing and so that I could give simple math problems to her… but that day I was irritated with the doc and panchakarma gals… DS assumed that I will take care of N when she went to have her coffee… but u know, how it is with kids… though N, had started walking, she was so fragile… I had to constantly keep a watch on her while she sat on the single bed or sat on the chair, so that she does not fall down… and that day, the moment, I sat, DS put the chair next to me, so that N could sit… the next moment, I got up from my seat and went back to bed to do math…N was hurt that day… and DS did not go for coffee break and I could not practice math that day… in fact after that I left practicing at all… wrote my exam without sticking on my prepared schedule and I was surprised, when I got the call from fms this march…
After that I told DS, please you go have your coffee… I will take care of Nithya… but DS did not go… after a day I got back her good will again… and on the last day…DS used to say how much N used to take care of DS… DS used to have lower back problem and once when DS had curled up in pain… N recited the whole Kanda Shasti kavasam without any mistake…of course, Nithya can not even pronounce my name properly… but am sure she will pick up… her left hand lines are weak…but her right hand lines are strong… she will become somebody for all that troubles DS has gone through…On the last day of discharge …DS agreed to sing songs for me following my request…I told her to sing, non karnatic songs, other than kurai ondrum illai…because, I knew only that song and I always wanted to listen only to MS’s voice singing it… DS sang one song that she had composed and sang it… I was not all that impressed… later she sang Bharathiyar’s song that was Nithya’s favourite and Thedinaen deva deva from raghavendra that transported me to some other world… it was too good… after that the gals came to take me for the oil massage and I wanted to give her some money or at least the apple I had… but while I was in the treatment room, I realized, she was going to go right away and so I asked the panchakarma gal to ask DS to write her contact details… while going when I was still in the treatment room, DS told that she had written her mobile number in my lalitha book cover… I felt bad, I didn’t give her anything… well… world is too small… I will meet her and give her something…
The day N got discharged… DS was saying, the house was in disarray…fan was not working and Nithya needed fan… what to do …you can not ask Nithya if she had been born in AC…for right after birth she was in AC for quite some time… DS’s husband just goes to BDU and comes back… now DS is in charge as usual… she has to get the electrician… get the fan working… clean up the house… she has arranged a yoga teacher for N… could be because she saw me doing asanas and pranayam some of which I taught her… and am sure DS will not turn any stone unturned if Nithya’s is involved… she has fixed a dentist’s appointment for Nithya… am sure Nithya will become somebody…. Sometime, later Varsha Patti’s story….
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Beloved IJ - 2
I was supposed to have met him the day after one dwadashi, but later, when I realized i had to travel on dwadashi, I cancelled the tickets and decided that, I will go only for final frame removal to see him. This time, I waited till my entrance exams got over and the stupid certification got over. Amidst my exam tensions, my PM was saying, my leave might be cancelled, if I didn’t complete the KT to V. We stayed till 10 pm, to complete the KT, the last few days and my train was at 11:55 and I started from office at 11:30…. As usual, UHC said, it is not going to approve my pre authorization, since ilizarov frame removal was a cosmetic surgery according to them…and as usual, my HR mgr got it approved on the last day….
At 11:50, in cantonment, it was pretty amusing,… there was a thayir sadham who was literally angry with me for traveling alone at night… did I know that the coach will stop at this place? and similar questions…this is the second time I got unsolicited help with this checked yellow dress… and finally when the train came at 12:30… the coach door was swinging and I didn’t have a solid support…so that thayir sadham got hold of my arm in a painful grip and I boarded my coach… I had arranged the teddy, the airpillows and tried to doze when again after almost 25 minutes, he came back asking, if I was ok… 4-5 oks…well…whatever…he said, he will drop me at home in Chennai… no thanks I said, I was getting down at katpadi and lied that my dad would be coming to pick me up… I always wished there was someone to say tata when I left and pick me up when I came… but always…I had to travel alone…with my throat hurting at the stations…oft is a prohibited area with buses once an hour…even if anyone wanted to send me off… they would not get return buses until 3 hrs later at 1 am…so better to go alone…
Next day dec 19 around 4 am…it was pouring like anything…as I alighted from the train, I had got completely drenched…I went up and down the slanting railway over head bride and there was a bus waiting and I boarded the bus and reached the C… my appt was around 8 and I waited, wondering what to do in this rain…. no auto seemed to coming anywhere near the gate where I was standing… at last…I decided…I will stand in that pool of water and wave my hands for any auto that stops… after 5 minutes of getting soaked…one auto took me to stinking solai lodge…where I took bath… carefully anne frenched leaving the area around the pins… at 7, I didn’t have any umbrella…I got under a Chinese/north east guy’s umbrella…till C gate and then I waited…I was summoned as the second patient… I had taken my x rays with the previous cancelled appt slip and he just had to arrange the surgery timings…
IJ said, I should have given him some warning… he had seen my yesterday night’s CiaoTomorrow mail only that morning… I told him…he had filled in the preauth form for surgery on 20…so he should have known… the xrays were not visible initially…so I went out and he summoned me again after 5-10 minutes and he said…okie the frame could be removed…great I thought…though I was scared that the fibula still had the 2 cm gap… he said, he needed someone with me the next day…I told him, since you said, this is a minor procedure…I didn’t want to trouble my parents during rains…
He had asked how was my job and all those questions and said, had it been a poor guy, he would have removed the pins in 10 minutes without anesthesia, but that was not the case with me… and he went on to say that c was behind money and its mission was to treat gently… in America, treatment costs would run to crores and the docs would spend 80% of the time talking to the insurance ppl, to clarify rates etc… but if ij were to do that…his job would be boring…interacting with patients and counseling was the job he liked…he said…with an intense look…I was embarrassed since I had a pimple under my nose…that refused to disappear in spite of my frantic efforts…
Since, it was a daycare stuff, I had to go to anesthesia to get the clearance… this wonderful lazy doc guy… asked the usual questions and popped in one more extra question, whether I used contraceptives…”excuse me”, I exclaimed… he said, if I had been using them…then anesthesia would increase bleeding…I replied no with a grimace and went back to the ward, thinking, if mom or dad had been there with me…this guy would not have asked me this q…
After usual room booking jhanjats…I got into 04E… this time, I went to the single pvt ac room …and somehow, I didn’t feel good there and came back to O4E… dad was going to come on the day of surgery…that night another lady anesthetist came in the ward and I told her that am allergic to micropores…only then I got the gyan as to why they give IV during anesthesia to… she didn’t know that it was a 15 minute pin removal stuff and she was planning for a spinal one…
At night I had kept the windows open and the other bed had become damp…I was still asleep when dad had come… and after that I had to go to the sisters to get a fresh sheet for dad to sleep till 7… i didn’t want to eat anything…even though I was permitted liquid till 6 am… around 8…I had to shift my room since there was an accident case who was going to come to the room where I was… I took hair bath…and was solving sudoku in Indian Express when IJ came… he said, he didn’t know that I had checked in…I told him…for uhc, I needed to be admitted before any treatment could commence… he had got 2 spanners with him… he said…”sister, hold the frame, I will remove the struts”… I was shocked…is he going to remove the pins, right here on the ward bed without anesthesia…okie I thought, IJ knows the best… the top frame had been loosened for quite some time and the pin usually hurt with every movement… and I tolerated the pain till he removed 4 struts… after that the frame started tilting and even I had to hold it in place along with the sister so that ij could remove the remaining two…I was literally begging him to remove them in the theatre…but he said, itha mattum vittuta…asingma irrukkum and he removed the last two and I gasped with pain and almost caught his hands… he commanded, now walk and show me… I was scared about my still disjoined fibula and a lumpish newly united tibia…nevertheless…I wore my black pants and walked out of the room where he was standing facing the sisters…
Dad had gone out probably for a smoke during this time…and ij and I spoke for quite some time… he said how he had been afraid, if the bones were really strong enough…and now he was confident on seeing me walk… he said, this is a minor surgery and usually he would never be involved for such cases, his juniors were surprised, that he was getting involved in this… he had told them that I was his special patient and that the PG who would be removing was a good doc… he said…he had to go to Martha or some place like that as examiner…he said, how those stupid ppl had postponed the exam dates and how he had to cancel his tickets… and since it was sabari malai season…there was no hopes in train… since it was AC…he could not have WL tickets…he said, the rly station was very near the college and by flight he had to travel backwards to Chennai wait there for 2 hours and down south, literally clock in same hours… they would just cancel the flights… at least for delhi, there would be some mla to flight…now he was a ticketless man he said…
He said, how even if it was free patient, he would patiently explain and draw diagrams and explain the treatment being given… and he described how, for his daughter’s delivery, his son-in-law had huge sum from insurance… even then, the cost came to 22k it seems… he said, how he had brought up his 3 kids modestly even though he had the riches…but you guys need to be careful with your generation he said… he said about his nephew working in Pune for Siemens who was the director whose company insisted he ride a bmw leaving his corolla…he earned close to a crore a year, but used to tell ij…”uncle, I cannot continue like this for long”…. And such similar talks…I was just gazing at him like a light dazzled doe, thoroughly soaked in his voice…we were standing kind of close to each other and I could feel his warm breath…
Suddenly dad appeared out the blue… and joined in… and I felt the moment was gone… dad joined in with more trivia… meanwhile ij asked, whether, I could read tamil… I said… definitely… that is my mother tongue and I know how to read… and he said, he will try to give me a small booklet, it was on the miracles of life etc… I felt bad, that I had not got him anything, thanks to my Libran ways of spending…
He was talking about how gals come to their parents home only rarely…his daughter had come recently for delivery… he said even if children want to come to their parents home …they would not have time… my daughter has married a guy of her choice… and I am happy with that …even if I had to find a guy like that I would not have been able to… he keeps her happy… my dad agreed that kids never had time for their parents and it was loneliness left to parents in the end…
After such similar talks I asked, was it a boy or gal… his daughter’s kid…baby… I blabbered… IJ said, it was her second delivery and it was a gal, the first was a boy… well few more talks…he said he had to leave now and we then shook hands and he went away… that was the first time I walked to the theatre bed instead of being lifted in a stretcher… the first time and hopefully last time…I made them put a cloth bandage instead of a micropore that would give me blisters on my hand when I wake up…after the minor frame removal and anesthetic sleep back in the ward…I found his booklet with his handwritten message… I forgot about everything else and started to read it… and sent a stupid msg stating I agreed with some % of what was written in it… that piece of paper with his handwriting is now my most treasured thing… So many times, like a fool, I would gaze that paper, instead of preparing for my entrance exams…
Many a times, I would just hold that square bit of paper and cry foolishly for no reason what so ever… at the end…it would be funny to realize that there was no rational reason behind those tears…
Yes’day afternoon on Monday after getting my two reference letters from 2 moonies in Chennai, I boarded Lalbagh express and around 5:30… passed through Katpadi station… I was confused over calling or messaging IJ. I was in roaming and 2 days in Chennai had taken its toll on my pre paid airtel connection. And, I thought, what if, the call got cut while in call, as it usually happens during train journey. I was also concerned, that my msg might end up a failure delivery as it had happened with those numerous messages I had sent him, everytime, I came to Chennai or passed via vellore. So finally I decided, I will message him, for my throat was also hurting for the past few days, thanks to late night methi parantha and amul curd or god knows what. Since both my roomie and I, got sore throat at the same time, it should have been something, we ate together. Too bad, that my star is a naidhana for her, though hers is a kshema star for me…
So I messaged him, a simple just wanted to say hi… passing through katpadi message… immediately, quite unexpectedly…I got the reply… to anyone else…it would have been just a thanks for your thoughtfulness…best wishes msg… but coming from an Aquarian…that too his first ever reply to my sms…I was enthralled… burst into silly smiles and seconds later… could not help crying… do not know why… there was a family in front of me… with a small pamperedWithLaysAndOtherEquallyWonderfulJunkFood boy of about 7 and well adjusted couple and 2 oriya guys next to me… so I had to resort to bending down on my heavy bag and finished crying till my throat and self felt better…
Man… along with that squarish bit of paper…this msg will be something I treasure till my whim lets me to… He made my whole day… the only thing, I could remember then was Khalid Gibran's quotes… what makes you most happy, makes you cry the most as well… how long will I obsessed with ij god?
At 11:50, in cantonment, it was pretty amusing,… there was a thayir sadham who was literally angry with me for traveling alone at night… did I know that the coach will stop at this place? and similar questions…this is the second time I got unsolicited help with this checked yellow dress… and finally when the train came at 12:30… the coach door was swinging and I didn’t have a solid support…so that thayir sadham got hold of my arm in a painful grip and I boarded my coach… I had arranged the teddy, the airpillows and tried to doze when again after almost 25 minutes, he came back asking, if I was ok… 4-5 oks…well…whatever…he said, he will drop me at home in Chennai… no thanks I said, I was getting down at katpadi and lied that my dad would be coming to pick me up… I always wished there was someone to say tata when I left and pick me up when I came… but always…I had to travel alone…with my throat hurting at the stations…oft is a prohibited area with buses once an hour…even if anyone wanted to send me off… they would not get return buses until 3 hrs later at 1 am…so better to go alone…
Next day dec 19 around 4 am…it was pouring like anything…as I alighted from the train, I had got completely drenched…I went up and down the slanting railway over head bride and there was a bus waiting and I boarded the bus and reached the C… my appt was around 8 and I waited, wondering what to do in this rain…. no auto seemed to coming anywhere near the gate where I was standing… at last…I decided…I will stand in that pool of water and wave my hands for any auto that stops… after 5 minutes of getting soaked…one auto took me to stinking solai lodge…where I took bath… carefully anne frenched leaving the area around the pins… at 7, I didn’t have any umbrella…I got under a Chinese/north east guy’s umbrella…till C gate and then I waited…I was summoned as the second patient… I had taken my x rays with the previous cancelled appt slip and he just had to arrange the surgery timings…
IJ said, I should have given him some warning… he had seen my yesterday night’s CiaoTomorrow mail only that morning… I told him…he had filled in the preauth form for surgery on 20…so he should have known… the xrays were not visible initially…so I went out and he summoned me again after 5-10 minutes and he said…okie the frame could be removed…great I thought…though I was scared that the fibula still had the 2 cm gap… he said, he needed someone with me the next day…I told him, since you said, this is a minor procedure…I didn’t want to trouble my parents during rains…
He had asked how was my job and all those questions and said, had it been a poor guy, he would have removed the pins in 10 minutes without anesthesia, but that was not the case with me… and he went on to say that c was behind money and its mission was to treat gently… in America, treatment costs would run to crores and the docs would spend 80% of the time talking to the insurance ppl, to clarify rates etc… but if ij were to do that…his job would be boring…interacting with patients and counseling was the job he liked…he said…with an intense look…I was embarrassed since I had a pimple under my nose…that refused to disappear in spite of my frantic efforts…
Since, it was a daycare stuff, I had to go to anesthesia to get the clearance… this wonderful lazy doc guy… asked the usual questions and popped in one more extra question, whether I used contraceptives…”excuse me”, I exclaimed… he said, if I had been using them…then anesthesia would increase bleeding…I replied no with a grimace and went back to the ward, thinking, if mom or dad had been there with me…this guy would not have asked me this q…
After usual room booking jhanjats…I got into 04E… this time, I went to the single pvt ac room …and somehow, I didn’t feel good there and came back to O4E… dad was going to come on the day of surgery…that night another lady anesthetist came in the ward and I told her that am allergic to micropores…only then I got the gyan as to why they give IV during anesthesia to… she didn’t know that it was a 15 minute pin removal stuff and she was planning for a spinal one…
At night I had kept the windows open and the other bed had become damp…I was still asleep when dad had come… and after that I had to go to the sisters to get a fresh sheet for dad to sleep till 7… i didn’t want to eat anything…even though I was permitted liquid till 6 am… around 8…I had to shift my room since there was an accident case who was going to come to the room where I was… I took hair bath…and was solving sudoku in Indian Express when IJ came… he said, he didn’t know that I had checked in…I told him…for uhc, I needed to be admitted before any treatment could commence… he had got 2 spanners with him… he said…”sister, hold the frame, I will remove the struts”… I was shocked…is he going to remove the pins, right here on the ward bed without anesthesia…okie I thought, IJ knows the best… the top frame had been loosened for quite some time and the pin usually hurt with every movement… and I tolerated the pain till he removed 4 struts… after that the frame started tilting and even I had to hold it in place along with the sister so that ij could remove the remaining two…I was literally begging him to remove them in the theatre…but he said, itha mattum vittuta…asingma irrukkum and he removed the last two and I gasped with pain and almost caught his hands… he commanded, now walk and show me… I was scared about my still disjoined fibula and a lumpish newly united tibia…nevertheless…I wore my black pants and walked out of the room where he was standing facing the sisters…
Dad had gone out probably for a smoke during this time…and ij and I spoke for quite some time… he said how he had been afraid, if the bones were really strong enough…and now he was confident on seeing me walk… he said, this is a minor surgery and usually he would never be involved for such cases, his juniors were surprised, that he was getting involved in this… he had told them that I was his special patient and that the PG who would be removing was a good doc… he said…he had to go to Martha or some place like that as examiner…he said, how those stupid ppl had postponed the exam dates and how he had to cancel his tickets… and since it was sabari malai season…there was no hopes in train… since it was AC…he could not have WL tickets…he said, the rly station was very near the college and by flight he had to travel backwards to Chennai wait there for 2 hours and down south, literally clock in same hours… they would just cancel the flights… at least for delhi, there would be some mla to flight…now he was a ticketless man he said…
He said, how even if it was free patient, he would patiently explain and draw diagrams and explain the treatment being given… and he described how, for his daughter’s delivery, his son-in-law had huge sum from insurance… even then, the cost came to 22k it seems… he said, how he had brought up his 3 kids modestly even though he had the riches…but you guys need to be careful with your generation he said… he said about his nephew working in Pune for Siemens who was the director whose company insisted he ride a bmw leaving his corolla…he earned close to a crore a year, but used to tell ij…”uncle, I cannot continue like this for long”…. And such similar talks…I was just gazing at him like a light dazzled doe, thoroughly soaked in his voice…we were standing kind of close to each other and I could feel his warm breath…
Suddenly dad appeared out the blue… and joined in… and I felt the moment was gone… dad joined in with more trivia… meanwhile ij asked, whether, I could read tamil… I said… definitely… that is my mother tongue and I know how to read… and he said, he will try to give me a small booklet, it was on the miracles of life etc… I felt bad, that I had not got him anything, thanks to my Libran ways of spending…
He was talking about how gals come to their parents home only rarely…his daughter had come recently for delivery… he said even if children want to come to their parents home …they would not have time… my daughter has married a guy of her choice… and I am happy with that …even if I had to find a guy like that I would not have been able to… he keeps her happy… my dad agreed that kids never had time for their parents and it was loneliness left to parents in the end…
After such similar talks I asked, was it a boy or gal… his daughter’s kid…baby… I blabbered… IJ said, it was her second delivery and it was a gal, the first was a boy… well few more talks…he said he had to leave now and we then shook hands and he went away… that was the first time I walked to the theatre bed instead of being lifted in a stretcher… the first time and hopefully last time…I made them put a cloth bandage instead of a micropore that would give me blisters on my hand when I wake up…after the minor frame removal and anesthetic sleep back in the ward…I found his booklet with his handwritten message… I forgot about everything else and started to read it… and sent a stupid msg stating I agreed with some % of what was written in it… that piece of paper with his handwriting is now my most treasured thing… So many times, like a fool, I would gaze that paper, instead of preparing for my entrance exams…
Many a times, I would just hold that square bit of paper and cry foolishly for no reason what so ever… at the end…it would be funny to realize that there was no rational reason behind those tears…
Yes’day afternoon on Monday after getting my two reference letters from 2 moonies in Chennai, I boarded Lalbagh express and around 5:30… passed through Katpadi station… I was confused over calling or messaging IJ. I was in roaming and 2 days in Chennai had taken its toll on my pre paid airtel connection. And, I thought, what if, the call got cut while in call, as it usually happens during train journey. I was also concerned, that my msg might end up a failure delivery as it had happened with those numerous messages I had sent him, everytime, I came to Chennai or passed via vellore. So finally I decided, I will message him, for my throat was also hurting for the past few days, thanks to late night methi parantha and amul curd or god knows what. Since both my roomie and I, got sore throat at the same time, it should have been something, we ate together. Too bad, that my star is a naidhana for her, though hers is a kshema star for me…
So I messaged him, a simple just wanted to say hi… passing through katpadi message… immediately, quite unexpectedly…I got the reply… to anyone else…it would have been just a thanks for your thoughtfulness…best wishes msg… but coming from an Aquarian…that too his first ever reply to my sms…I was enthralled… burst into silly smiles and seconds later… could not help crying… do not know why… there was a family in front of me… with a small pamperedWithLaysAndOtherEquallyWonderfulJunkFood boy of about 7 and well adjusted couple and 2 oriya guys next to me… so I had to resort to bending down on my heavy bag and finished crying till my throat and self felt better…
Man… along with that squarish bit of paper…this msg will be something I treasure till my whim lets me to… He made my whole day… the only thing, I could remember then was Khalid Gibran's quotes… what makes you most happy, makes you cry the most as well… how long will I obsessed with ij god?
When you lose control…
It has almost a year since I met B, how ever this morning’s incident as I was waiting for the bus, brought him back to my mind. As it is happening off late now, my tranquil mornings have been thrown into a disarray thanks to my laziness and thanks to my obsession with the smell of jamangi flowers. I was making a garland for sakthi at 11 in the night and this morning, I missed my yoga pranayam session. Slept till 7 am and woke up, prepared my breakfast while cleaning up. Ate morsels of SomeThingYouCanCallDosa while getting ready to board the bus…i.e 2 bites of dosa while I did the dishes…put mascara… two bites and then put on my shirt and pant…2 bites and then tied the bun… and I was there in a time. And what should greet my sight but this fight scene near some mofussil bus. Two young guys were just hitting each other as if the other guy was a punching bag… the bus moved away, one guy stayed in the bus and his fighting partner walked away on the dusty road….and i was looking from the other side of the road past the divider...
Last year should be around june-july while I still had the ilizarov frame on my tibia….on sat morning... as i was putting mehandi on my hair...i got a call from the SBA (senior biz analyst) stating that he was leaving the day after to chennai n wanted to chat.... so i said...i will call him once i finish my therapy....(i used to say my weekend classes as therapy to others)
he used to buy me fruits... i owed him 21 bucks... and i got a dairy milk almonds wala for him... since that was going to be the last time i wud see him....
my first impression of him was that he was arrogant-haughty person... he used to come to the dining hall n bang his diary on the table...n order arrey siva kya hai breakfast ke liye?.... later... after a “revathi” got us talking...he softened a bit... he didn't thump or shout for orders... ate breakfast peacefully.... he used to say tamil alphabet were like jelabis sprawled over in a line....
so i called him around 9 pm after my classes in TIME got over... n he came to my room at 9:30 p.m... i thought we will talk in the hall... but he didn't even wait for me to open the door n barged in... i was having apples for dinner... n we shared the last apple...
he did his mba from jamnalal bajaj mumbai...he was a student leader...into politics... we were talking abt how...he had to go back to chennai after a project analysis to his blore director, had put his blore reporting head in lurch...
he had once been travelling around mumbai n had been pushed down from the bus accidentally in the usual alighting jostle n he had got his nose snapped (he said, his nose was literally torn) in the process...he thought it was the driver...coz the driver refused to stop the bus at the place he had promised when initially when B had boarded the bus. B bet the driver black n blue... n both were admitted in the hospital...and put in side by side bed. Police case was filed and since his uncle was the pa to the cm, he got away. The doctor was surprised that B had bet the driver in spite of his nose bleeding so profusely. B didn't regret beating the wrong guy...he was relishing the idea of beating some one. We started this topic, when he did something with he knife for cutting apples n i wondered...which human on earth can ever kill another with a knife. And he said, he would. He can't bear any atrocity inflicted on him by someone else...
he is a black belt in karate...
he was saying how the apples that we were eating were at least 3 months old... fresh apple wud give milk like liquid when cut, it seems. He used to say in his native everything was fresh... n good..
then he said i speak clearly n went to say how he cud not speak for 6-7 years n ate fruits that were eaten by parrots and birds on the trees n got his voice when he was 7... he has 4 elder sisters n 1 younger brother... he is the fifth... his mom died after his bro was born n they are from rural background...so he is not sure of his exact dob.... he said jun 27 for my sake…
once while playing like monkeys n jumping from tree to tree...it is a game... that u have to hop from branch to branch n not be touched by others... he fell from 40 -60 ft n escaped the freshly cut maize or some crop that is sharp enough to disembowel you....
he is pretty aggressive...n well.. then what...he said...he used to massage ppl... coz he had learnt that in a gym frequented by amir khan, john, bips n dino mori some guy....he said...his room had a line of guys waiting for massage...
he used to have cigs n drinks n gutka 7 yrs earlier... but left it now....he has dreamy hypnotic eyes...n
he didn't hv strong fin background... he did his diploma after 10th... did electric repairs to pay for his engg...in electrical engg....
after that he worked in a IT comp for 2 years b4 he joined jamnalal bajaj...
he took 2 months off from office n took just those 2 months... he got 96 percentile in cat but didn't get calls last year...n didn't attend coaching classes... he got the material from his friends...
n after he got admitted in jamnalal...he took math lectures for 600 per hur n gd pi for 4000 per day n paid his way in jamnalal bajaj....he used to fill in application forms for Rs1000 for others... even now he got calls from gujju gals for cat doubt...
later he asked me when i was getting married...i said... jest like that i didn't believe in marriages...n here came the embarrassing part...it was 11 pm...n he was saying... he can never ever control himself....(Of course, i can say for sure neither he nor i had any fantasies... nevertheless...) he said u need to get married else u wud regret later....these north guys...don't hv any propriety... he digressed on and on... n he was telling abt iskcon gals n guys n nuns...i was arguing abt jain nuns being so pure... n i tried to change the topic.... then he started abt how gals - cute looking college ones in mumbai wud sell themselves for drugs...n well...n how he was contacted by a mumbai pimp... jes that....
finally at 11:30 he left the room.... switching off the light n reducing the fan speed.... i never lock my room...n whoever leaves last...be it Aug 29 srividya or anyone wud have to do the tucking in ceremony for me....
jes this...i had thought i wud jes give him the chocolate n say good bye n good night right in the hall...because of him...i lost 2-3 hrs of precious sleep...i cudn't say no...i need to sleep at 9...coz i need to do yoga n things at 6 am... well jes this...
then during a chat session around Nov last year... he ended up saying that he had 4 houses in mumbai and blore... that message was for someone else that ended up popping in to me...since then...no contacts... i did not miss him per se... just that he inspired me to fight like a kid and dream big and achieve no matter what... till this morning... it would have taken a full 5 minutes to register B... now i am inundated with memories....
Last year should be around june-july while I still had the ilizarov frame on my tibia….on sat morning... as i was putting mehandi on my hair...i got a call from the SBA (senior biz analyst) stating that he was leaving the day after to chennai n wanted to chat.... so i said...i will call him once i finish my therapy....(i used to say my weekend classes as therapy to others)
he used to buy me fruits... i owed him 21 bucks... and i got a dairy milk almonds wala for him... since that was going to be the last time i wud see him....
my first impression of him was that he was arrogant-haughty person... he used to come to the dining hall n bang his diary on the table...n order arrey siva kya hai breakfast ke liye?.... later... after a “revathi” got us talking...he softened a bit... he didn't thump or shout for orders... ate breakfast peacefully.... he used to say tamil alphabet were like jelabis sprawled over in a line....
so i called him around 9 pm after my classes in TIME got over... n he came to my room at 9:30 p.m... i thought we will talk in the hall... but he didn't even wait for me to open the door n barged in... i was having apples for dinner... n we shared the last apple...
he did his mba from jamnalal bajaj mumbai...he was a student leader...into politics... we were talking abt how...he had to go back to chennai after a project analysis to his blore director, had put his blore reporting head in lurch...
he had once been travelling around mumbai n had been pushed down from the bus accidentally in the usual alighting jostle n he had got his nose snapped (he said, his nose was literally torn) in the process...he thought it was the driver...coz the driver refused to stop the bus at the place he had promised when initially when B had boarded the bus. B bet the driver black n blue... n both were admitted in the hospital...and put in side by side bed. Police case was filed and since his uncle was the pa to the cm, he got away. The doctor was surprised that B had bet the driver in spite of his nose bleeding so profusely. B didn't regret beating the wrong guy...he was relishing the idea of beating some one. We started this topic, when he did something with he knife for cutting apples n i wondered...which human on earth can ever kill another with a knife. And he said, he would. He can't bear any atrocity inflicted on him by someone else...
he is a black belt in karate...
he was saying how the apples that we were eating were at least 3 months old... fresh apple wud give milk like liquid when cut, it seems. He used to say in his native everything was fresh... n good..
then he said i speak clearly n went to say how he cud not speak for 6-7 years n ate fruits that were eaten by parrots and birds on the trees n got his voice when he was 7... he has 4 elder sisters n 1 younger brother... he is the fifth... his mom died after his bro was born n they are from rural background...so he is not sure of his exact dob.... he said jun 27 for my sake…
once while playing like monkeys n jumping from tree to tree...it is a game... that u have to hop from branch to branch n not be touched by others... he fell from 40 -60 ft n escaped the freshly cut maize or some crop that is sharp enough to disembowel you....
he is pretty aggressive...n well.. then what...he said...he used to massage ppl... coz he had learnt that in a gym frequented by amir khan, john, bips n dino mori some guy....he said...his room had a line of guys waiting for massage...
he used to have cigs n drinks n gutka 7 yrs earlier... but left it now....he has dreamy hypnotic eyes...n
he didn't hv strong fin background... he did his diploma after 10th... did electric repairs to pay for his engg...in electrical engg....
after that he worked in a IT comp for 2 years b4 he joined jamnalal bajaj...
he took 2 months off from office n took just those 2 months... he got 96 percentile in cat but didn't get calls last year...n didn't attend coaching classes... he got the material from his friends...
n after he got admitted in jamnalal...he took math lectures for 600 per hur n gd pi for 4000 per day n paid his way in jamnalal bajaj....he used to fill in application forms for Rs1000 for others... even now he got calls from gujju gals for cat doubt...
later he asked me when i was getting married...i said... jest like that i didn't believe in marriages...n here came the embarrassing part...it was 11 pm...n he was saying... he can never ever control himself....(Of course, i can say for sure neither he nor i had any fantasies... nevertheless...) he said u need to get married else u wud regret later....these north guys...don't hv any propriety... he digressed on and on... n he was telling abt iskcon gals n guys n nuns...i was arguing abt jain nuns being so pure... n i tried to change the topic.... then he started abt how gals - cute looking college ones in mumbai wud sell themselves for drugs...n well...n how he was contacted by a mumbai pimp... jes that....
finally at 11:30 he left the room.... switching off the light n reducing the fan speed.... i never lock my room...n whoever leaves last...be it Aug 29 srividya or anyone wud have to do the tucking in ceremony for me....
jes this...i had thought i wud jes give him the chocolate n say good bye n good night right in the hall...because of him...i lost 2-3 hrs of precious sleep...i cudn't say no...i need to sleep at 9...coz i need to do yoga n things at 6 am... well jes this...
then during a chat session around Nov last year... he ended up saying that he had 4 houses in mumbai and blore... that message was for someone else that ended up popping in to me...since then...no contacts... i did not miss him per se... just that he inspired me to fight like a kid and dream big and achieve no matter what... till this morning... it would have taken a full 5 minutes to register B... now i am inundated with memories....
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Why all this on Pradhosam?
Yesterday… I wore the same green dress, I had worn last Wednesday… why do I wear light green with white on Wednesday… like a fool blindly giving in to the planets colours I don’t know… there are days when I blatantly wear what I feel like… but most of the days…I give in to the ruling planets colour… the first time, I felt something was wrong with this dress was during a train trip to Chennai for writing some entrance exam in college final year… after that, I had started wearing nondescript grey dresses during my journeys… but couple of times, whenever I have worn this gay light ochre green dress…I have felt something not good with guys behaviour towards me…
Yesterday… after having dinner… shubha wanted to recharge her spice card…thanks to her ISD calls… I did not notice the timings… for me all that mattered was booking flight tickets to delhi…or am still wondering, whether to go there at all…for Kozhikode interview is on the next day in blore… so I was talking about timings and rate of flight tickets over my mobile to my brother walking on the road, along with my roomie… even while walking down the road parallel to the road that leads to malleswaram… guys in bikes were doing acrobatics… riding on the rear wheel just near us… we were scared, what if they fell down and broke their bones… kids pretend to be daredevils and know not what they are doing… twice this happened… but for me the first and foremost important thing was booking the tickets for 13th… so I didn’t notice what shubha had noticed… 2 hefty guys in bike taking rounds and rounds around us… rounds that progressively became smaller… the recharge shop had been closed and we were returning home… at one point, she said, come, the guys are taking another round towards us… only then, I paid attention… even then I wondered… bikes have been racing past the road…so what is the big deal… just near that place after we had a crossed a park that had a elevated place for doing yoga… there was a nice apartment… looked well lighted as in those ads and shubha approached the security of the apartments saying, guys were following us… I was wondering…oh my god…why is she doing this… come, we will go home instead of waiting near the security… those things happen only in media… I had walked home around midnights after office work alone… for me, as long as I had shiva’s names on my lips… I was invincible… we didn’t wait near the security…even though the security said wait for 5 minutes… we started walking… and few minutes later… I felt a rush of air… a swoosh and I found my earphones in the bikers hands in front of me…I didn’t feel anything else… I looked at the contents of my hand…my mobile was intact… and a little longer than 10 cm remaining piece of my earphone was in my hand… if the earphone wire had snapped, the pull must have been forceful enough… still the seriousness didn’t strike me… for me it was a dilemma…what will I do to listen to songs early morning…i need songs even to brush my teeth... shubha then bid me to come under the shade and hide behind a black car…what if the bikers came again… the road was deserted except for closed doors, sleeping cars and subdued chrome yellow street lights… I felt ridiculous… why should I hide behind a car?… we heard the bike sound again passing us and I resorted to sitting on the slab under the tree… remembering the time, we hid in Devina's bathroom to escape our houseowner’s wonderful daughter and her equally notorious kid… it was some other bike… and for few minutes there was no other sound.. and suddenly at the road where the guys had taken the turn, there appeared a tall guy.. we decided to wave to him and ask him to escort to our place barely 5 minutes from our place… that guy was ex service man and was doing late night accounting for year end closure…he agreed and gave us company… and shubha blabbered her sentences to the guy peppered with the word pathetic…I could not match their speed…we had had a long walk and I ambled behind…trying to keep pace with them… at last we reached home and shubha still didn’t stop… every few sentences later… she was discussing the same thing… she said she was shocked… please god I thought… only then she told me… don’t you realize your chudi is torn… only then I saw my favourite green dress had a tear near my right hip… only then I realized the severity of the situation… I could not have afforded a fall on the tar road... I want my right hip that cost me over 2L over 3 surgeries to last for another 20 years at least… all I had felt was of gust of wind blowing…and shubha said she saw my dress flying… okie …Pradosham… and shiva rathiri would be commencing from 1 am… whatever… I will have to stay without music till I get my earphones…
But am wondering… what do the guys gain by casually brushing a gal… I mean why do guys do this or how can a man take a knife or a bomb or gun and kill someone…how can they sleep at night or eat their food after doing this… I have always believed…no matter how bad a guy is… a gals mere presence can soften the guys and make them good…when someone looks at a gal…she should be worshippable like devis in temples…pure so much so that, guys would fear going near her… mebbe I should have abandoned the dress after college final year… my mistake to have worn that green dress… not to have noticed the time when we left the house… well whatever… they will regret and pay dearly for it… shiva would see to it…
Yesterday… after having dinner… shubha wanted to recharge her spice card…thanks to her ISD calls… I did not notice the timings… for me all that mattered was booking flight tickets to delhi…or am still wondering, whether to go there at all…for Kozhikode interview is on the next day in blore… so I was talking about timings and rate of flight tickets over my mobile to my brother walking on the road, along with my roomie… even while walking down the road parallel to the road that leads to malleswaram… guys in bikes were doing acrobatics… riding on the rear wheel just near us… we were scared, what if they fell down and broke their bones… kids pretend to be daredevils and know not what they are doing… twice this happened… but for me the first and foremost important thing was booking the tickets for 13th… so I didn’t notice what shubha had noticed… 2 hefty guys in bike taking rounds and rounds around us… rounds that progressively became smaller… the recharge shop had been closed and we were returning home… at one point, she said, come, the guys are taking another round towards us… only then, I paid attention… even then I wondered… bikes have been racing past the road…so what is the big deal… just near that place after we had a crossed a park that had a elevated place for doing yoga… there was a nice apartment… looked well lighted as in those ads and shubha approached the security of the apartments saying, guys were following us… I was wondering…oh my god…why is she doing this… come, we will go home instead of waiting near the security… those things happen only in media… I had walked home around midnights after office work alone… for me, as long as I had shiva’s names on my lips… I was invincible… we didn’t wait near the security…even though the security said wait for 5 minutes… we started walking… and few minutes later… I felt a rush of air… a swoosh and I found my earphones in the bikers hands in front of me…I didn’t feel anything else… I looked at the contents of my hand…my mobile was intact… and a little longer than 10 cm remaining piece of my earphone was in my hand… if the earphone wire had snapped, the pull must have been forceful enough… still the seriousness didn’t strike me… for me it was a dilemma…what will I do to listen to songs early morning…i need songs even to brush my teeth... shubha then bid me to come under the shade and hide behind a black car…what if the bikers came again… the road was deserted except for closed doors, sleeping cars and subdued chrome yellow street lights… I felt ridiculous… why should I hide behind a car?… we heard the bike sound again passing us and I resorted to sitting on the slab under the tree… remembering the time, we hid in Devina's bathroom to escape our houseowner’s wonderful daughter and her equally notorious kid… it was some other bike… and for few minutes there was no other sound.. and suddenly at the road where the guys had taken the turn, there appeared a tall guy.. we decided to wave to him and ask him to escort to our place barely 5 minutes from our place… that guy was ex service man and was doing late night accounting for year end closure…he agreed and gave us company… and shubha blabbered her sentences to the guy peppered with the word pathetic…I could not match their speed…we had had a long walk and I ambled behind…trying to keep pace with them… at last we reached home and shubha still didn’t stop… every few sentences later… she was discussing the same thing… she said she was shocked… please god I thought… only then she told me… don’t you realize your chudi is torn… only then I saw my favourite green dress had a tear near my right hip… only then I realized the severity of the situation… I could not have afforded a fall on the tar road... I want my right hip that cost me over 2L over 3 surgeries to last for another 20 years at least… all I had felt was of gust of wind blowing…and shubha said she saw my dress flying… okie …Pradosham… and shiva rathiri would be commencing from 1 am… whatever… I will have to stay without music till I get my earphones…
But am wondering… what do the guys gain by casually brushing a gal… I mean why do guys do this or how can a man take a knife or a bomb or gun and kill someone…how can they sleep at night or eat their food after doing this… I have always believed…no matter how bad a guy is… a gals mere presence can soften the guys and make them good…when someone looks at a gal…she should be worshippable like devis in temples…pure so much so that, guys would fear going near her… mebbe I should have abandoned the dress after college final year… my mistake to have worn that green dress… not to have noticed the time when we left the house… well whatever… they will regret and pay dearly for it… shiva would see to it…
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